Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
2) A coworker and I witness a speeding Corvette get pulled over by a cop in front of our work. The cop lets the guy go with a warning because he noticed that his cruiser, and the guy's Corvette is blocking the path of a gigantic Budweiser truck trying to get out of the parking lot. The quote of the day uttered by said coworker..."Getting saved by beer while you're driving rarely ever happens."
3) A lab technician in the place I used to work at came in with a cold one day. As he was looking over another lab tech's shoulder as she meticulously inoculated some petri dishes, he sneezed all over her counter. What came out of his mouth next?? "Dammit, I've gone and infected the virus"
4) A friend's mom (and yes, you know who you are!) adopted a Daschund from a local pound. When asked what made her choose that dog over all the others, she said (as she snuggled and kissed the pooch) "because he looks just like a sausage and Mommy loves her big brown sausages"
5) And finally, two quotes from the great Jack Handy...
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did"
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it."
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
And look DAMN good doing it?!?!
I know he is 20+ years older than me, but all I'm saying is...If he showed up at my door right now and said to me (in that lovely lovely voice) "run away with me!" I would whole heartedly say "HELL YEAH! let's go!"
Catch him tonight: Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel, at 9pm
Friday, February 13, 2009
Dear Valentines Day,
Hey...Remember me? Nah, you probably don't. The last time I gladly celebrated you was...geez, about 20 years ago! Long time, no see! And no, I don't count 2006 because the poor guy wasn't warned and shame on you for sucking him in with all your pink and red heart-shaped nonsense!
Oh, lovely Valentines Day...I know it's not your intention to make me feel like crap every year. I know this. And I know it's not your fault that you started out a celebration for a number of saints who had nothing to do with love but then ended up being the greeting card holiday you are now. I know it was never your dream to become a marketing tool for retailers to sell unsuspecting people all sorts of useless trinkets and baubles, and flowers (that die) and candy (that make you fat).
I know that millions of people worldwide celebrate you fondly and that you mark a day full of love for couples all over. I don't begrudge them that. Really I don't! In fact if you were the one day in the year where guys think to give their women lovely gifts, and where women bestow their love upon their men...then heck! More power to you!
Some people call you "Singles Awareness Day" but it's not because I'm single that I refuse to bow down to your charms...this is the first time since I was 18 where I didn't have a Valentine to call my own. Well, you were there! You would know! It's not even because I believe that there shouldn't be just a single day when love between couples should be honored. Some people need a reminder not to take their lovers forgranted and this serves as a great one every year. No...it's not any of those reasons Valentine, as you are well aware I've got my own.
I know all this my sweet, sweet Valentine's Day, but yet, I can't help but hate you. Hate you with as much intensity as my tiny beating heart can muster. I know that every year I usually pretend you don't exist. As much as you can pretend an elephant in the room doesn't exist. But this year my dear Valentine! This year is different. This year I will be saved from the dread and guilt of having to tell my significant other not to get me flowers or cards or pretend to give me an early President's Day gift. I am saved from having to see their dejected and beaten looks of sadness and surprise when I ask them to please not wish me a Happy Valentines Day. For that reason alone, this year I will acknowledge that you are upon us. Even give you your own little shout out on this humble little blog.
This year I will gladly and without anxiety watch you approach and even more gladly and enthusiastically wave you goodbye.
When the day comes to an end dear lovely Valentine's Day, I will bid you a warm farewell and see you next year. And, Valentine??? Please don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Ok. So what do I carry around with me on a daily basis? Gym bag, Lap top bag, and purse. These are what I used today. But generally it's what I carry around everyday, not all at once but they do all get used at least once in every 24 hour period.
My purse was a gift so I don't know how much it cost. Inside: wallet, phone, two tubes of red lipstick, one tube of KissMyFace lip balm, one tube of pink lipgloss, business card holder (the pink thing with the heart on it), face powder, brush, ipod, camera (in the blue pouch) and keys.
Alright, I tag:
Unbearable Banishment, Amanda (aka Dogtag Diva), Nerick, Cora, and Candy, Words, Felisa, and Fancy!!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Here's my first crack at it! Enjoy!
Remember that book called "Are you there God, It's me Margaret!"?
No? Well, you must be a guy then because most women my age or thereabouts will remember reading this Judy Blume masterpiece, but if you still don't know what I'm talking about let me give you a VERY brief synopsis: The book is about a girl going thru puberty and much to her dissapointment...her little girly bags are somewhat delayed in transit (if you know what I mean).
When my friends and I read that book, I was about 10 years old and whilst my little girl friends could totally relate to the character, I had the complete opposite problem. I, much to MY dissapointment, had developed early. Really, really early. If that wasn't bad enough, I didn't stop developing until I was 18.
It sucked monkey balls!
My mother who witnessed all the awkwardness thought she'd be helpful one day by telling me a story about my aunt. Auntie N, she said, had the same problem when she was younger and she was so ashamed and embarassed about her condition that she even went so far as to tie her lady muffins down with a scarf everyday to go to school. I'm sure in my mother's convuluted way of thinking she meant to tell that story as a way of saying "be proud of what you have" but my little brain took it as "hint hint hint! here's what you can do!"
So the next day...gym day at school...I stole a bunch of my brother's sports bindings and tied myself up with it. I used a few old safety pins from my grandmother's sewing kit to "securely" fasten them and off I went. Gym class came and I locked myself up in a bathroom stall so I could change without any witness. Everything was fine and dandy till we all lined up to play basketball. Apparently the up and down motion of the arms was too much for the poor little safety pins to handle and eventually one worked itself open and started jabbing me repeatedly in the side. When we were finally allowed to go back into the locker rooms, I ran ahead of the pack and in my haste to stop the bleeding that I was sure must have been happening, I completely forgot about the miles of tan elastic I had wrapped myself in and whipped off my shirt in front of 20 mean, snide, snivelling, stuck up, jealous little wanktards...I mean -->girls.
After the laugher (theirs, definitely not mine) had subsided, I finished changing and left. The next day at school I found out that some of the girls (I don't know who...but if I ever find out...VENGENCE!) had spread rumors about me and how I was "recovering from a boob job and was all bandaged up" in gym. For the rest of the year I was faced with the dilemma of either stop binding myself which would make them think that I definitely had the procedure done, or keep binding myself which would make them think that I definitely had the procedure done.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I gathered she is 33 years old...she doesn't work as far as I can tell, but is in school to get her Master's degree...she still lives at home with her mother...doesn't have a husband or significant other (not that I think you need a guy around to raise kids...but octuplets!?!?)...already has 6 other children. That's right, you heard me. SIX OTHER KIDS! And get this, her oldest child is 7! For a grand total of 14 children all under the age of 8, including 8 children who are newborns.
...have you caught up to my shock yet? Go ahead, I'll wait!
Don't get me wrong...I'm as open minded as anyone and I fully understand the appeal of a large family. My dad is the third youngest in a family of 12! But to have that many children with no viable means to support yourself much less the entire brood, is just crazy! Not to mention the fact that she admitted to having the children as a means to combat depression and to fulfill feelings of dysfunction and predictability she had while growing up. Now, I ask you, are those any reasons to have babies? I don't think so.
My concern is wholly for the children as I feel that their mother's "desire for a large family" will negatively affect their futures. It's one thing to have many kids (spaced out) as long as you have the means to adequately care and provide for them. But it's a completely different story when you can't even afford to keep your existing children on your own and then decide to go into a fertility clinic with an intent to have more. I, of course do not necessarily condone "reducing" the amount of viable embryos. If it was me and they told me I had 8 healthy embryos and then asked if I wanted to get rid of some, I probably would not. But neither do I condone going in for more when you already have 6 at home to begin with. I don't think it's right to abuse the system for your own psychiatric needs when there are so many out there struggling to have children or struggling to provide for their existing ones.
I don't know what else to say. This was one of those conversations/discussions I was having with myself, before I decided to blog about it and open up a topic with you all. I know I'm probably going to get some flak from some of you about my views but I welcome a healthy debate if it comes down to it.
What do you guys think? Is it a matter of to each his own and should she have been allowed to keep having babies and to live life as she wants? Or should she have been stopped before her recent brood of 8 were conceived?
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
And because I normally don't do these things, I refuse to tag anyone else to do it. But if you are short on blog ideas and decide to post 25 things about you, attach a link to your post and/or say so in my comments and Ill snoop around all your personal facts too! Oh, P.S. before you ask, yes...I did steal some of these from my Honest Scrap blog post from a while back.
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose up to 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
1. I can't relax at home in outside clothes (ie. jeans or work clothes). If I'm gonna be home for longer than a couple hours, I'll change into sweats and a t-shirt.
2. I can't sleep with my closet door open, or my bedroom door open, or any of my drawers not shut. They don't even have to be all the way open, just slightly ajar bugs me. It's not that I think some boogeyman is gonna get me...ok, I lie...I do think the boogeyman is out to get me, and yes, I am SURE all that stands between a peacefull night sleep and death is the 3 inches between my sliding closet door and the wall.
3. I'm a compulsive procrastinator...I'll tell you about it later.
4. When I have a problem or issue I want to work out, and there's no one else to talk to...sometimes I talk to myself. I mean I actually have drawn out conversations with myself in my head. I don't even pretend to speak as another person. Nope, it's just me and me...chatting it up.
5. I was born in the Philippines and I didn't move to Seattle till I was 9. I don't think I have an accent but sometimes I catch myself saying words wrong when I'm mad or not paying attention.
6. I hate it when people call me "cute". Cute is for puppies and little girls with blonde ringlets. What I am is "adorable".
7. I have found that I'm completely ok with disecting dogs, cats, pigs, birds, fish, human parts...anything with bones. But ask me to cut open a worm or caterpillar and I turn green and get nauseaus.
8. I secretly wish that I could sing.
9. I laugh like a ten year old boy when things blow up, or people get hit or fall down. This is why I'd make a great addition to MythBusters.
10. If you turn on my ipod, you'll hear anything from classical, to musicals, to pop, folk, heavy metal, country, rap and everything else in between.
11. I am practically blind...everything past 5 feet away from me is blurry, but I hate wearing glasses and I can't wear contacts. I only wear glasses when Im driving or watching a movie or tv.
12. My first name was an accident. My mother wanted to name me Anna or Odina, but they misspelled it on the birth certificate. My parents liked it and kept it. When I was in high school I looked it up and found out that it is the name of a village in Oppland, Norway.
13. If I had to eat only one kind of food everyday for the rest of my life, I'd pick sushi.
14. I HATE DRIVING. I really really do. I didn't get my license untill I was in my 20s and even then Im still really defective. Not a month goes by that I don't come home with a scratch on my car or a dent somewhere or without almost running someone over.
15. I love scented candles. At any one time (like right now) I've got 3 different ones in my bedroom, another one in the bathroom, and a couple in the kitchen. I pick and choose which scent to light based on my mood.
16. I was in pageants when I was younger. And I won too! I was adorable. Don't judge me!
17. I love to sleep. My healthy record (as opposed to my record of longest time asleep when I was sick) is 17 hours. And it was lovely.
18. I have a ginormous extended family. HUGE! My mom is the middle of 7 girls. My dad is one of 4. My step-dad is the tenth of 12 kids. At last count, I have more than 40 cousins.
19. I have a weakness when it comes to guys. Other than the cute face/hot bod thing, I really really love pretty eyes. One of my exes has these light brown eyes that turn into gold in the sun. *sigh* damn, pretty boys anyway!
20. Despite only being 5ft tall in bare feet, I seem to like dating tall guys. Out of the 7 I count, 4 were over 6ft.
21. I love to cook. And I'm damn good at it! And I love to bake things too... And no, cooking and baking are not the same thing.
22. I love to eat but my metabolism blows. If I didn't work out as much as I do, I'd weigh 300 pounds. 5ft tall and 300 pounds. I'd look like that blueberry girl from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
23. I have an unhealthy attachment to my laptop and my phone. If ever my house catches on fire and I can only take two things with me (not including family, friends, and pets of course) I'd pick Fluffy the laptop and Greenie the phone.
24. Even though I'm a realist, and I've been jaded towards love more than once...I still believe in the whole "one true love"/"happily ever after" thing.
25. I love to laugh. Really love to laugh. Jokes, funny videos, stories...anything and everything is welcome. And screw the little lady like giggles. If you've never had a snorting full bodied guffaw then you've never really lived. (P.S. I think Eddie Murphy's Donkey in Shrek is genius on a stick!)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
What does your music library say about you?
1) Put your IPod (or other music playing device) on Shuffle.
2) For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3) You must write down the name of the song and a sample lyric for those of us with differing musical tastes.
-What do your friends think of you?
"Trust Me" --The Fray
(If I say who I know, it just goes to show. You need me less than I need you.)
-If someone asks you if you're ok, you say?
"Forever" --Chris Brown
(Hey! It's you and me, moving at the speed of light into eternity. Tonight is the night to join me in the middle of ecstasy)
-How would you describe yourself?
"Rehab" --Amy Winehouse
(They tried to make me go to rehab but I said NO NO NO)
-What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Look After You" --The Fray
(If I don't say this now, I would surely break. Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait. My heart has started to seperate)
-How do you feel today?
"Eyes Like Yours" --Shakira
(Come from Bahrain, got to Beirut looking for someone comparing to you. Tearing down windows and doors but I could not find eyes like yours)
-What is your life's purpose?
"Living Life" --Eels
(Hold me like a mother would. Although tomorrow, it don't look that good. This is life and everything's alright...living in living in living life)
-What is your motto?
"White Horse" --Taylor Swift
(Say your sorry, that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to. And I pace back and forth all this time cuz I honestly believed in you)
-What do you think about very often?
"Love in this Club" --Usher feat. Beyonce remix
(If I walk away and just let you leave, you'll be stuck in my head just like a memory. You must be crazy, I got a man, you got a lady. But you decided to be here with me)
-What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Miss Independent" --Ne-Yo
(Oh there's something about the way she moves. I can't figure it out. There's something about her)
-What do you think of your best friend?
"Whatta Man" --Salt n Pepa
(whatta man whatta man whatta man, whatta mighty good man)
[LMAO... Mr. A, are you reading this?]
-What do you think of that boy/girl you like?
(Its not her fault that she's so irresistable. But all the damage she's done is invincible. Every 20 seconds you repeat her name. But when it comes to me, you don't care if Im alive or dead. I love you for free but I'm not your mother)
[Sigh...so true so true!]
-What is your life story?
"Can't catch tomorrow" --Lost Prophets
(Im sure I've seen this look before...how many lies has he told this time, how many times did he cross the line)
-What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Wait For You" --Elliot Yamin
(I never felt nothing in the world like this before, now Im missing you wishing you would come back in thru the door. Baby I will wait for you. Cuz I don't know what else I can do.)
[Man! That's depressing!]
-What will they play at your funeral?
"Nothing Good About Goodbye" --Hinder
(Rolled my sleeves back down today cuz I thought the bitch was over. But everytime I try to cut the cord, you come crawling back with some excuse over something)
-What is your hobby/interest?
"Bed" --J. Holiday feat. Plies
(I love it, you love it, everytime we touchin. Wanna put my fingers thru your hair, wrap me up in your legs, and love you till your eyes roll back. Im tryin to put you to bed.)
[I plead the 5th]
-What is your biggest fear?
"Far Behind" --Candlebox
(Now maybe I did not mean to treat you bad, but I did anyway.)
-What is your biggest secret?
"Summer: Concerto 23 in G minor, Allegro non molto" --Antonio Vivaldi
[Damn Right! And it'll stay a secret!]
My therapist says it's like an emotional spring cleaning. That sometimes you have all of these thoughts or issues or niggly little doubts that you build up. Things that you set aside or shove in a random corner when it comes up so you can go about your day as normally as possible. After a while it backs up in your head or in your heart and you just have to clear it out. Analyze each piece and put it in it's proper place. Some people cry, some people run or work out till they're so tired they can't see straight, others take care of it in their own way. I guess I'm one of those people who cry.
I'm pretty sure I know what triggered this most recent cleaning jag, just as I know that I'll be fine once all my little thoughts are put away where they should be.
"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The fine print:1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who granted it to you, along with his/her blog link.2. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you feel are worthy of this recognition. Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen as recipients.
This award acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write. Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It's a way to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.
--Ok, I follow alot of blogs. ALOT. But although I can give the "Funny Blog" or "Super Entertainment" awards to most of them, I can only really think of a few blogs that I can give this award to. Fear not all, I still love you! But here are the blogs I think deserves this award:
1) The Indefatigable Mjenks at A Crown of Thistles
2) Gwen at Everything I Like Causes Cancer
3) Fancy at Fancy Schmancy
4) ..::C::.. at Life on the Crawl
5) Skyler's Dad at Somedays It's Not Worth Chewing Thru The Leather Straps
6) Some Guy at Some Guy's Blog
7) The Unbearable Banishment at The Unbearable Banishment
8) Felisa at This Is The Story Of A Girl
9) Words Words Words at The Untitled Blogger Project
Wow! It was harder to pick and choose from my awesome blogroll than I thought. But I did it! Go enjoy yourselves!
Now, onto the good stuff.
Part V: Just call me Doppelganger Daisy
When I was in high school, I had a group of guy friends who were considered to be part of the "cool clique". I think they initially started hanging around me because I was a big nerd and they thought they could charm me into doing their homework for them (fat chance) but then became my friends because they really liked me and started to think of me as a sister of sorts. That, and because they were teenage boys and I had big boobs.
But I digress.
These group of friends (P, S, K, and G) had a nickname for me: Daisy. At first I thought it was because I was so sunny and sweet, but when I really stopped to think about it, I had always been sarcastic and cranky so that couldn't have been the reason. I finally gave up and asked P one day, why it is they called me Daisy. He said that there was a girl in the neighboring rival high school who looked exactly like me, and her name was Daisy. Side note: I never thought to ask whether the kids at her school then called her "E".
Anyway, a couple years passed and I was a junior in high school when the premier and the littlest bro-hans started taking tae kwon do lessons at a local martial arts studio. I went to the studio one day to watch them and was hanging around when all of a sudden a little girl (maybe 4 or 5 years old) came right up to me, threw her arms around my waist and gave me a big hug. After I got over the initial shock, I hugged her back. When she finally let go of me I kneeled down and gave her a big smile and asked her what her name was.
She burst into huge noisy tears.
Her mother who had been watching the whole exchange came over and picked her up then stared me in the face. I was about to explain (though I don't know how since I had no clue what just happened) but she beat me to it. She says "Oh, I'm so sorry. She must have thought you were her baby sitter and she got upset when she thought you had forgotten who she was." I told the mom that it was no big deal and was about to turn and walk away when she added, "I have to tell you, I thought for sure you were Daisy until I looked a little closer. That's why I let her walk over here and hug you *giggle giggle*."
Later on, in college...the same thing happened except this time it wasn't a cute little girl but a full grown man. I was walking towards "the Ave" from class when all of a sudden some dude picks me up from behind and gives me a bear hug. When he put me down I turned around prepared to sock him in the face but...well, he was kinda cute so I restrained myself and settled for giving him my patented evil eye. He didn't notice me glaring at him because he was busy asking me how I was. Or rather, verbatum, "Hey, Dais...how ya been?" He finally stopped talking long enough to really look at me. I don't know if it was the stink eye that told his brain that I wasn't Daisy or if it was whatever minute differences in my face but when he realized he had just picked up and hugged a complete stranger he turned pink, stammered out his apologies and took off. I remember going back to my dorm room and telling my roommate (who also went to high school with me) what happened and she said she always wondered why the guys called me that in school.
So apparently, somewhere in the greater Seattle area, there prowls a girl who looks so much like me that men, women, and children mistake me for her all the time. I have to wonder if she gets randomly accosted by people mistaking her for me too. I also wonder why I haven't bothered to look her up before. Maybe I'll start, look up people who used to go to that school. Ask some friends what her last name was. Finally solve the mystery of my unrelated twin. Or maybe I'll be my usual lazy self and blog about it instead.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Total of 900 points (3 tests at 300 pts. each), minimum passing is a 240 on each test.
I got an 841. Reading 281, Math 291, Writing 269.
It's kinda ironic that I sucked so badly at writing. I mean, I practice giving you all A++ material on at least a weekly basis! But whatever, I was targeting the math section anyway since that's what I'll be going back to school for. And before you guys ask...Masters Degree in Teaching: Biology.
So YAY, I passed! And I didn't do too bad, if I may say so myself. Now onto the school applications...which means I'll soon be broke since I'm planning on applying to at least 3 (maybe 5) schools and the application fees aren't really that cheap.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Felisa: OH MY GOSH! You're alive!
Wicked Mr. J: You now have 24 hours to post a blog or email me the hell back or else I'm calling in the cadaver dogs.
Mr. C: How have you been doing?
Scandinavian God: Did I do something wrong?? Or are you dead? Maybe you're just dead...but did I do something?
Wow! I feel so loved! Worry not blogger citizens (and other people who read my blog), I have two whole days off this week (and tomorrow, but Ill be watching the superbowl) and I fully intend on channeling my inner couch potato and reading all your blogs from the last two weeks and inserting my own brand of witty commentary. In the meantime:
Bella: I love you too.
Felisa: Yep, Im here!
Mr. J: do I get extra points for posting two in one day?
Amanda: Haven't seen the new doll yet, and please don't die! Im not ready to meet you in hell yet.
Sabrae: Whatever! You know you still worship the quicksand I walk on.
And to the rest of you who will undoubtedly leave comments after this post, I can't wait to read about all the mischief you guys have been up to!