Tuesday, September 16, 2008

7 Rules to a Successful Relationship...

Now don't get me wrong. I, in no means whatsoever, am NOT a relationship expert! In fact if I really sat down and thought about it...I consider myself 3 inches away from a relationship failure. With that said, I tend to rely on the wisdoms (and/or stupidity) of others to govern the way I go about my non-existent love life. Lacking a better segue into this blog, I'll just go ahead and present these...my 7 Rules to a Successful Relationship...as gathered from my vast and simultaneously limited experiences:

1. Do as your friends say, and not as they do.

Have you ever noticed that your friends always have the BEST advice, and always know what words to say to comfort you and make you feel better but then they turn around and make the same mistakes in their relationships? It's simple really. It is a lot easier to give good advice and know what to do when you are detached from the situation than when you're rolling around in the middle of it. Face it! You give great advice to your friends but do you ever follow your own advice? Of course not. When you let your heart govern your thoughts, your brain takes a back seat. So do yourself a favor...listen to your friends. In certain cases at least, they are smarter than you!

2. Get the girl and guy perspective to your questions.

I know you won't believe me when I say this but girls AND guys go thru relationship muck just as much as the next person. Really! For every girl who complains of so and so no good dillhole who left her and broke her heart, there is a guy hiding in a dark corner somewhere cursing the girl who did him wrong too. The only difference is, girls usually vent and whine more to their girlfriends and guy's tend to hold it all inside. It's always good to get a second perspective to life's big questions anyway and the benefit to having opposite sex input to life's more heartbreaking obstacles is not only to see the situation in a light that you hadn't thought to look at it from...but also sometimes it's nice to hear a man say "you're right, men ARE dillholes and I am ashamed to call myself one today". :)

3. Regardless of how off the cuff they sometimes tend to be...reading Dating articles and blogs is a good thing!

...if only for the amusement benefit they provide and to assure you that regardless of how crappy you are feeling about your latest failed attempt at love (or something along those lines) there are others out there going thru the same thing. And if you are lucky, sometimes their problems are bigger than yours! Here are a couple good ones. And this goes along with the whole guy girl perspective thing too so...read up buttercup!

Understanding Men: from the Relationship Doctor

Marie Clair Dating Blog: by Rich Santos

4. Ain't no such thing as a mistake in love...just a lesson learned.

If you look at every bad, failed, torturous relationship as an opportunity for learning...eventually you will realize that you take something good away from even the worst dating experiences of your life. Trust me on that! With every horrible date you start to build a list of what you want and what you don't want in a guy (or girl) and what you can and cannot live without in a long term commitment.

5. For goodness' sake DON'T LOSE HOPE!

I believe that not only does everything happen for a reason, but that things happen in their own time. Be patient. Just because 5 out of your 7 friends are all married with children at 25 doesn't mean it will never happen for you. We all need to grow on our own, learn to take care of ourselves, and learn to love who we are before we can take care and love another person. And as they say "the best things in life are worth the wait".

6. Don't blame a new love, for the things that an old love did. Keep an open mind.

I know it sucks and it's hard as hell to trust again after having your trust betrayed so completely that you find yourself cursing your ex's name fore...I'm sorry, I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah. Just because your ex cheated on you and broke your heart, doesn't automatically mean all guys (or girls) are horrible cheating liars that can't be trusted. I don't mean be naive and ignore the warning signs, but keep an open mind. More often than not, love and all the answers you are looking for is staring you right in the face but you just don't see it. When one door closes, sometimes we look so hard at that door that we don't see the window that's opened to us.

7. To thine own self be true.

Need I say more? What it all comes down to in the end is you. Only you know what is right for you. Trust your heart and when everyone else fails you, don't ever let you fail yourself.

--as promised, I dedicate this blog to Mr. Anderson [I presume] ;) my late night relationship guru!

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