Do you ever have one of those days...or I guess in this case, one of those nights, where there isn't really anything wrong. Everything is calm, everything is for the most part as it should be. But for some reason you have the overwhelming need to just sit in a hot shower, or bury your head under your pillow and cry your guts out?
My therapist says it's like an emotional spring cleaning. That sometimes you have all of these thoughts or issues or niggly little doubts that you build up. Things that you set aside or shove in a random corner when it comes up so you can go about your day as normally as possible. After a while it backs up in your head or in your heart and you just have to clear it out. Analyze each piece and put it in it's proper place. Some people cry, some people run or work out till they're so tired they can't see straight, others take care of it in their own way. I guess I'm one of those people who cry.
I'm pretty sure I know what triggered this most recent cleaning jag, just as I know that I'll be fine once all my little thoughts are put away where they should be.
"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."