Saturday, September 26, 2009

You look Gorgeous dahling...absolutely gorgeous!

Every woman...and I do mean EVERY WOMAN, regardless of what they look like, have bad days. Days when they feel the ugliest, shapeless, lumpy, bumpy excuse for a female that ever did trod the earth. And it isn't just that we feel that way towards the men who may have the sorry experience of laying eyes on us... We feel that way towards everyone. Men, Women, little Children...but most of all towards ourselves.

Raging hottie, ugly duckling, studious nerd...whatever you are. I can guarantee you, your day will come.

This particular day just happens to be such for a friend of mine. She called me up worried because she had just recently started dating a guy and was afraid that the "next step" was close. She obsessed to me over a 24 minute conversation every one of her insecurities from having a double chin when she looks down to her dress size to each tiny stretch mark and even to the fact that her "feet are a lot colder than the rest of her body".

The funny thing about it is, I'm pretty sure I have had the same conversation with a lot of friends with each of us switching roles between the doubt dispeller and the insecuree. To her I gave the secret that all women strive to embrace (however hard it may be sometimes to believe it yourself). And to you, my lovely readers I share the same secret.

This was sent to me a looong time ago and I honestly can't even remember who sent it to me and from where. All I can tell you is that I did not write this (though I wish I had the confidence and the intelligence to come up with this myself).

I hope this helps you guys out as much as it has helped me.

[Warning: adult language]

"Let go of your hang-ups! I know it's easier said than done, but fake it til' you make it, baby. Secondly, if you choose your partners wisely, you should never have any reason to feel insecure about your body. There is someone to appreciate every unique flavor in the world. Sure, some guys won’t like your body, but other guys wouldn’t like it if you looked like a Playmate. There are so many men out there that finding one who worships you and all your curves or lack thereof should not be a problem. And when you’re naked with a guy who has a rock-hard boner and can’t get enough of you, you’ll have no reason to feel insecure. If you think you’re hot, I guarantee men will too Besides, guys don’t give a shit. They’re just happy to have a naked girl in bed. Life is too short to waste time not getting laid."


J.J. in L.A. said...

Haha! Sooooo true! I'm short, fat and disabled...yet I've had several guys who didn't care either way.

As for guys who DO care that I'm short, fat and disabled?

Screw 'em. ; )

NMOS said...

Haha. Good one. I'm definitely one of those guys that sees past the insecurities, like with all my ex-girlfriends. Even when there was something that they didn't like about themselves, I thought they were beautiful in my eyes and I always let them know that. It's more about chemistry. :)

Char said...

I love that! Whoever wrote that really has it together. Happy weekend,

SkylersDad said...

I always liked Billy Crystal's take on sex.

Women need a reason to have sex.
Men just need a place.

Chris said...

I agree with with part about guys are just happy to have a naked girl in bed.

But when I have a naked girl in bed, Alexis always gets pissed off. (ha ha ha)

Seriously though, she has these same thoughts and says them all the time. I keep telling her that she is as hot and sexy to me today as she was the day I first saw her bent over in her cubicle at work picking paperwork up off of the floor. I also point out that she can't walk from the shower to the closet naked without me getting one of those "boner" things you mentioned:)

mo.stoneskin said...

'Just happy'? Happiest when she is the woman we love. :)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I love you for posting that and all of it.

You get it babe, you certainly get it!!! good for you.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...


How many conversations with our women friends that have revolved around the flaws.


But, gah. The focus is all wrong. I mean, if they guy and her are about to take the next step, the focus should NOT BE ON THE DOUBLE CHIN but how does he treat her?

How does he DO THE THINGS HE DOES TO MAKE HER WANT TO GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL? Where is the relationship right now? Is she happy, is she crazy in love? Does she feel supported and loved?

Everything else comes in a distant 8th or 9th.

Unfortunately, we women don't listen to such advice very often. Here's hope your friend listend to you!!!

awesome post E! Your are truly awesome.

BTW I used an expression in my post today, an expression I first heard from you! Guess which one :)

words...words...words... said...

It's so true. Women...listen up! We don't expect you to look like the freaks on the cover of fashion magazines. We don't even want you to. If you're in our bed or on the path leading to it, you didn't wind up there by lottery. It's because we chose you. Just trust our judgment.

~E said...

JJ: Or "not" screw them! ;)

NMos: Good for you!

Char: Definitely, you don't know how much those words have helped me thru the years.

SkyDad: Never heard that before, but I loove it!

Chris: I used to do that in front of my ex. I broke it off with him after the 50th time he told me to move cuz I was blocking the TV.

Mo: Soo True!

Candy: I "get" it most of the time, but sometimes it still gets to you.

Mrs. Hall: Is it Crazy Sauce? Wait, why am I leaving this here? Ill go to your blog and comment!

Words: SOO very well said. Im stealing that!

Felisa said...

TOTALLY AGREE. I'm getting to this point. Just earlier I was fretting about which of my clothes made me look skinnier and then i realized I didn't give a damn. I'm meeting up with friends. I mean, I like one of them but he knows what my body's like... if he likes it, cool. If not? Someone else will.

Sid said...

LOL! Life's too short not getting laid.

Scope said...

Lucky for me, I'm dating a woman who is flawless. :-)

Cora said...

There is so much truth in that, I swear I'm going to freaking print that out and put it up on the wall, ~E! :-)

My ex-husband constantly criticized my body. Every. Inch. Of. It. Until I got to the point that I felt like I was just repulsive. I used to wear long sleeve shirts and baggy jeans and Doc Martens even when it was like 100 degrees outside! I just didn't want anyone to see any more of my body than they had to. I felt like I was disgusting.

It took me YEARS after the blessed divorce to realize that it wasn't true, that ex-hub was just saying those things to be cruel for sport because he's twisted like that. And y'know what? I'm finally in a place in life where I actually DO feel sexy.... even with the stretch marks and the no-longer-perky boobies and the plump thighs. Okay, I'm not perfect (no matter what that sweet, adorable, lovable Scope just told you!!) but, really, it's all good - perfection would be utterly boring and annoying and kinda scary if it actually existed, I'm quite sure. I'd rather be human than a Barbie Doll anyday.