Sunday, December 6, 2009

Moments of Idiocy

(Caveat: this post was written on 10/24/2009)

Today's moment of idiocy is brought to you by Lego and is inspired by Some Guy's Blog.


I hate Legos!

I know I'm gonna get a lot of flack about that because apparently Lego blocks are the equivalent to gold bricks and fairy dust to some people.

To me though, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, I used to love love love playing with those colorful little plastic bricks. And the day I graduated from the ginormous fist-sized, rounded corners, baby proof blocks to the littler, more deadly to the bare foot versions was one of my happiest memories.

When I was 8, I used to stack a bunch of those single bricks on top of each other and pretended to smoke it like a cigarette.

(my dad smoked and I thought it was cool to copy)

(don't hate though, other than that bad example...and of course cursing like a sailor, he is a top notch parent! ;) )

Where was I?

Oh yeah...

It became a favorite play activity of mine to go out for "smoke breaks" with my dad. Him with his Marlboros and I with my own little pack of yellow and white (of course) Lego ciggies in my pink Hello Kitty purse.

One day, as I was clogging my lungs with fake smoke, one of the loose ones on top came off and I accidentally swallowed it on a particularly vigorous suck.

(that's what she said...)

Have you ever had a square, sharp edged Lego brick go down your throat? Not so great feeling, I can attest to that. Now, I'm pretty sure that I've passed that brick some time during the 19 years since...but for all I know, I've still got a slightly chewed up yellow brick floating around me somewhere.

This was a public service announcement... Smoking is bad for your health. And your digestive tract.


Char said...

Let's hope it has long since passed.


Chemgeek said...

I always thought, and I still do, that the single block pieces were the most pointless lego blocks. What were they actually good for? Other than for making cigarettes, of course.

SkylersDad said...

Nothing ruins your trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night like stepping on a Lego block.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

More like a moment of humanity than idiocy. It's amazing that you don't smoke. The odds are that if your parents smoked, so will you. Well done, dear.

Cora said...

What? They never took X-rays or made your parents inspect your poo to see if it had passed or not?! In kindergarten I swallowed a button on a dare and my family dr made my mom check my poo for a week to see if it had left (it did) and if not I was going to have to go have X-rays.

The whole scared the--well--crap out of me. But it didn't stop me from chewing on the Barbie shoes.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

UM you did what now?

Took smoke breaks with your Dad? Wow, whoa!

I can say that when my mom use to have her friends over they would smoke and smoke and smoke and I would love sitting listening to them talk and talk and talk.


glad it passed, hopefully anyway :)

J.J. in L.A. said...

Too funny! Makes me glad we never had Legos! We just swallowed: a broken light bulbs (bro), turpentine (sis), birth control pills (me), diet pills (sis).

I'm glad you didn't take up smoking (irl). I was "lucky" to know a man with emphasema who was 50 but looked 80, and I swore I'd never smoke. That's why I'm 45 but look 25. ; )

Some Guy said...

I'm sorry Legos had such a traumatic impact on your life, E. Perhaps, with sufficient counseling, you may one day learn to love them, or at least forgive...

Sid said...

What you didn't get the block removed through surgery? Seriously.

LegalMist said...