Post Chrismassy bloginess PTII

One of the funnier Christmas Presents I got this year was from my buddy NMos. He wrote me a poem and it's hilarious!

The "E" According to "N"

There once was a beauty named E

Who was the only girl out of three

She can fire a big gun,

If she's mad you betta run,

Cause its hard to stop this busy lil bee.

She was born in the beautiful Philippines

But was transplanted to Seattle it seems.

She's very down to earth

Has been cute since birth

And is comfy in just tshirt and jeans.

She smells as good as she looks.

And likes to read Sandra Brown books.

She loves to shop at Sephora,

I think you would adore her,

For she even bakes and she cooks.

In her free time she writes up blogs,

And also loves Yorkshire Terrier dogs.

Her two lil bros,

Are Robs and Joe,

And only on her home treadmill she jogs.

Her Choco-Kahlua cake is the best,

Truly better than all the rest.

If you joke 'bout her food,

She'd think that'd be rude,

And would probably say, "Surely you jest"

She sports a sexy tattoo,

And jokes about all things taboo.

She can take out many drinks,

In just a couple winks,

And you'd better believe it's all true.

You'll catch her watching football on the tube,

She'll even discuss it like she's a dude.

She'll place her loot,

On the QB that's cute,

Team spirit is what she'll exude.

She can talk about any electronic device,

From cellphones to optical mice.

Not the typical girlee

And immediately you'll agree,

You've never seen a techy look this nice

It is best that one should mention

That particular topics may create some tension.

I admit that the E

Is somewhat a mystery

But thru it all she still has my attention.

Other than that, my most favorite things I got this year:

1) Football Jerseys

2) 750GB Hardrive (to store all my pirated movies, songs, and ebooks of course)

3) A star named after me! Ok well this wasn't really a gift this year but two years ago my best buddy Bob had a star named after me and it's still one of the coolest things I've ever gotten from anyone...unless of course you count "life" for which I will always thank my mother all her 23 hours of labor for.... You can find it at Aries RA 2h 52m 37s D 26 51'. If you're smart enough to look that up and find out what it's called, then I guess you deserve to know my real first name. Bob has since passed away (very very very recently) but I am reminded of him everytime I see that framed certificate hanging on my wall. I don't mean to be mushy here but I really do hope that he's up in heaven, residing on my star...looking out for me.

Bob, Me, and our friend Jay.

R.I.P. Robert Day III, December 3rd, 2008

P.S. Sorry if I brought anyone down, but I figured if I snuck it in at the end, no one would really notice.

Post Chrismassy bloginess PTI

No, I'm not dead. I've just been sick (yes, during Christmas...it sucked BALLS) so I haven't really been posting or reading people's blogs and I've got such a backlog of unread blogs that I doubt Ill get thru them all anytime soon so bear with me.

Anyway, here are some pics. Because I have nothing else to post. Unless you guys would like to hear about my 19 hours straight of sleep...or the color of the phlegm I hacked up constantly the last 3 days...or the chunk vs. fluid ratio of my stomach contents as they came up to say hi to me the second time around.

Or we can just go on with the pictures...

This year's snowman! Yes, I did manage to bundle myself up, haul my rear outside and help the parents and the littlest bro-han make a snowman. Which, now that I think about it, was the last day I was well so the 6 hours outside probably got me sick. No, it wasn't as big as it was last year but to our defense we were lacking an engineering degree and sheer tenacity without the premier bro-han around. Plus, none of us are over 5'5 and wouldn't have been able to make a 7ft snowman anyway.

Packing snow for the base. And yes, I know it looks like my mother is hard at work with the snow shovel, but don't let her fool you. She was really just throwing snow around so she can make herself a chair to sit on.

The littlest bro-han rolling and rolling and rolling and rolling that damn ball around.

My dad "helping" me by shovelling up snow and flinging it in my general direction. Without checking to see if my mouth was open. *blech*

The snowman WAS smiling...untill part of his mouth broke off. Now he looks unsure. Probably because he's naked in a scarf and hat.

Mom and I dressing the snowman. And by "dressing" I mean shoving stone buttons into his skin and stapling a belt to his mid section.

Finished product (see the hair under the hat?? yeah, we're just so damn creative like that)...and yes, I really am that cheek-pinchingly cute! ;)

My mom (just turned 50...she won't mind that I told you) who is also cheek-pinchingly cute. I had to get it from someone right?

With the bro-han...after he finished chucking snowballs at the kids over the fence next door.

And the next day, our hard work covered up by another 6 inches of snow :(

Lastly, I want to thank all of you for the gifts and cards and emails and happy thoughts you sent my way! I hope you guys had a great Christmas!

T'was the night before X-Mas...

Twas the night before X-Mas, when all through the house.
All the vermin were stirring, especially the mouse.
The beer cans were stacked by the front door with care,
In fear that the cops soon would be there.

The frat boys were nestled all drunk in the beds,
While visions of pole dancers danced in their heads.
And mamma in her do-rag, and I in my cap,
Had just fizzled our brains with a pull from the tap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I tripped as I dashed,
Tore open the tinfoil and threw up the sash.

The flashing red lights on the snow was aglow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a tank of a cop car, and the SWAT team in gear.

With a scary leader, so livid and thick,
I knew in a moment this guy was a prick.
More rapid than eagles his officers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Crusher! now, Turbo! now, Gemini and Nitro!
On, Titan! On, Thunder! on Viper and Bronco!
Shoot the teargas inside o'er top of the wall!
Now blast away! blow away! Blast away all!"

As crack heads that run to get their next high,
The police people hastened,to mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the officers flew,
With a pack full of ammo, and the damn leader too.

And then, in a fear struck moment, I heard on the roof
The footfalls and bootsteps of each little hoof.
As I drew in my stash, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the leader rappelled with a bound.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A couple of M4s he had flung on his back,
And he looked like the Terminator, ready to attack.

His eyes-how they blazed! his scowl oh so scary!
His cheeks were like granite, his nose twisted, bent and un-merry!
His menacing mouth was drawn down like a bow,
And the beard on his chin, a five o'clock shadow.

The pin of a grenade he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke from the teargas 'round his head like a wreath.
His chilling face and a 6-pack tight ab,
Never shook when he cackled, like a stone slab!

He was rigid and fierce, and tall as a giant,
And I cried when I saw him, my bowels unreliant!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had all things to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And grabbed me and crushed me, and turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney we rose!

He ran to the tank, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere we drove from the light,
"Now you're mine little boy, without even a fight"

Yes Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus...

He works for the U.S. Postal Service, and shops at RadioShack!


















p.s. Yes, it's the same guy and his name is Bob.

Christmas is creeping up on you...are you ready?

I was going to put a story here about Christmas and Winter and all the warm and fuzzy feelings but then I read Expat's story about her first Christmas in the US and I laughed like a crazy person. I think my biggest gift to you all would be to tell you to read her story because I can guarantee you will laugh like a crazy person too!

For those of you who are too lazy to click on links, can I just tell you that her story comes complete with a sex-doll Mary and baby Jesus stabbed with toothpicks in a Walmart Gazebo.

...Intriguinging huh? ;)

Since everyone is posting pics up of all their decorations and their tree...I thought I'd do the same.

Here is our tree:

Normal standard run of the mill tree with normal standard run of the mill decorations. The presents don't normally start sneaking their way under it for another week or two.


Then comes my parent's yard...

Ten guesses as to what ethnicity and what religion we are. Go ahead. I'll wait...