Sunday, November 30, 2008

And the award goes to...

ME SUCKAS!!!!


New blog reader "That Damn Expat" nominated me for this award! And I accept! (especially since she's only read 3 posts and hence has yet to experience my Grade D crappiness...NO Take Backs!!)

I've never gotten an award before!

*clears throat, taps mic*

I would like to thank the Academy for this award and the fame and prestige that goes along with it. I want to thank all the little people: that little guy in the suit on Fantasy Island, Very Troyer, that "whatchu talking bout Willis" guy!!!! It is the knowledge that I'm bigger than all you that keeps me going day by day. I want to thank God and Jesus and Mary and Joseph and all the Saints, Buddha, that multi armed elephant godlike person thing, L.Ron, and Madonna. My parents and family, that guy up in the corner hiding...yes you!

*music starts playing*

I'm NOT done yet dammit!!!!

I would like to thank my director and the producers who believed in me. My undying platitudes to my hair dresser and makeup artists for covering up the bald spots and third eye. My plastic surgeon and personal trainers for keeping my weight at...well, it doesn't matter what.

all the members of the NFL, purveyors of late night TV, YouTube, the lady at the bakery who supplies my special brownies, the inventor of the internet, Kelsey Grammer, Richard Simmons, my crack dealer....

*grand applause*

You like me!!! You really really like me!!!


5 comments:

Poobomber said...

Are you having an after-awards party? With a buffet?

words words words said...

Can I have some stuff from your awards gift bag?

And since my word verification for this comment is "binge", I must echo Poobomber and ask about the buffet.

~E said...

If by buffet you mean left over turkey and ham then Yes...yes, I am!

That damn expat said...

I like your acceptance speech and all but where's your list??
Don't make me take the award back, that would be all kinds of embarrassing :-P

pistols at dawn said...

Congrats. Please let the success go to your head.