Sunday, December 14, 2008

Just consider it a mental upchuck [Part I]

A collection of stories that I've been meaning to write about, or that other people have told me I should post, or that I've recently just remembered...all here for your reading pleasure.

Part I: It's ok to cringe...I forgive you!

When I was 19, I did what every stupid 19 year old college girl did back then...got myself a spiffy little bellyring. It was HAWT and totally worth the 2 seconds of tear jerking pain it caused me. A few months later it was summer and a bunch of friends and I decided to haul ourselves to the local waterpark to laze away our day playing in the sun. I figured since I was gonna be wearing a spunky little bikini (and since the bellyring hole was all healed anyway) that I would exchange the boring little barbell I was wearing for a sparkly pink dragonfly (complete with sparkly pink dragonfly wings and sparkly pink dragonfly tail that matched my sparkly pink bikini).

All you boys out there...are you picturing the bikini??? GOOD! Hold on to the nice thought because you'll need it for this next part.

After a long day of playing, we all congregated near the lockers to dry off and get dressed. I was standing slightly behind a friend of mine as she pulled her towel out of her locker. As she unfurled the towel and moved to swing it over her shoulders, neither of us noticed that the little laundry tag on the towel had gotten caught on my dragonfly tail.

So whoosh goes her towel over her shoulders and out ripped my pretty little bellyring...right out of my belly. It was the most god-awful pain I've ever felt (and keep in mind I have a couple tattoos although I've heard childbirth is worse). I think I was in shock for a few seconds and as I stood there, blood leaking down my front, I vaguely remember my friends freaking out/turning green and gagging/trying to herd me into first aid which conveniently enough was only a few steps away.

They patched me up with a couple band-aids and some antiseptic and a ton of advil...my friend with the towel still outside to see if she could find the ring. She came inside with it...complete with a piece of E-tummy still nicely attached. YUM!! Since it was a complete accident, I forgave her of course (partly my fault for being vain and wanting to wear fancy body jewelry to match my stupid suit that I didn't even like all that much). Long story short, it took three weeks for the hole to completely heal...two weeks of which I couldn't stretch or lie on my stomach for very long. And on top of that, I'm also a cheloid former (think puffy scars, not flat) so now I have a lovely little reminder of that sunny day 7 years ago...

The End.

8 comments:

That damn expat said...

Ewwww!!!!

That's all I have to say.

Ewwww!!!!

NMOS said...

Sorry, I couldn't read anymore after "sparkly pink bikini". My mind just wandered from there. :)

pistols at dawn said...

Ow.

Also, ow.

Some Guy said...

I was going to say exactly what Pistols said. The image you painted made me cringe.

Felisa said...

Oh my goodness. Why did I read that? I knew where the story was going... I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry that had to happen to you!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Oh good lord, that sounds horrible. I'm so glad I was too old and fat when that fad came out! I have nine piercings in my ears, and 2 tattoos, but the belly ring is completely beyond me.

Gwen said...

Oof. I know that pain. I got one in my late twenties, early thirties and was horsing around one day with a friend who threw me over his shoulder and pulled it out. I also have a scar.

We're scar sisters!

~E said...

Gwen: LMAO!! YAY for scar sisters!