Sunday, December 28, 2008

Ugh Church!

Normally I like going to mass every Sunday. Not this Sunday tho...for many good reasons:

-We got stuck in the snow getting into the parking lot on the way in...and then we got stuck in the snow getting out of the parking lot as we were leaving.

-I slipped on the way to the front door and almost bit it, had I not slammed into my brother first. Good thing he was able to hold both of us up.

-The person (or persons, I'm not sure) who sat in the pew in front of me smelled like she took a flying leap into a vat of perfume concentrate, marinated for a few days, got out got dressed and then...just for good measure...decided to spritz on a couple more ounces.

-The baby in the pew behind me apparently had an ingrained fascination with long black hair. MY long black hair! And yes, it was cute the first 30 or so times he pulled on it...but the next 100 or so times not so much! What annoyed me more was the mom who apparently thought it was so darling and sweet for the little tyke to be playing with the nice lady (what nice lady?? oh you mean me?!?!) that she didn't do anything to stop it. Well you know what annoying little tyke and equally annoying mother?!?! Graham cracker bits and baby spit dries like cement. Ask me how I know...g'head...ASK!!

-The people sitting next to me? 4 giggly teenage girls...'nuff said.

The only thing good about my whole experience (other than receiving the word of God of course) was that we got to sing "What Child is This" during the communion which has been one of my favorite songs to sing at church since I was young. Why? Because it's the only time you can say "ass" in the house of the Lord without feeling like having to go to confession afterwards hehehe.

7 comments:

Chris said...

Baby spit and graham cracker crumbs also make great stucco :)

I laughed because yours is the second "I said ass in church" post I read today.

http://www.2writehands.com/2writehands/2008/12/i-was-born-a-baptist-and-not-a-catholic-or-buddhist-or-mormon-in-the-same-way-that-some-birds-are-born-penguins-and-not-rob.html

~E said...

Chris: Well hopefully you get back on the blogger horse and start writing again, but till then I welcome your comments like always. P.S. I feel her pain...in fact, I think I know which story she probably read out loud!

Felisa said...

Hahahahaha I'm sorry. That's no fun! It's only fun for readers like me but I bet it wasn't fun for you.

Well one time there was a kid who decided to poke the living hell out of my back at church. That wasn't fun either... But at least I didn't have spit on my hair afterwards.

..:: C ::.. said...

Yeaaah, so my first time in a Catholic Church for anything other than a funeral was for Christmas Eve... There were rowdy toddlers all over the place. Highly annoying.. But overall it was fun.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

hee hee..love that. You so funny.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I won't lie, I hate church, and I was forced through 2 full masses in 2008. One for my son's 8th grade graduation and one for my Gram's memorial, so I guess I really shouldn't complain, but I will anyway. Thanks, though, because you just reminded of a post I have to write!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

That baby...strangely enough...sounds like me...

Anyway, I saw that Seattle finally decided maybe a little salt on the roads would be nice, what with all the snow and ice. Well done. Well done.