Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Random Hilarity

1) My mother is a Dentist. Not only that but she teaches Dental Anatomy and Histology. BUT, her nickname at work and at school?? "CANDY".



2) A coworker and I witness a speeding Corvette get pulled over by a cop in front of our work. The cop lets the guy go with a warning because he noticed that his cruiser, and the guy's Corvette is blocking the path of a gigantic Budweiser truck trying to get out of the parking lot. The quote of the day uttered by said coworker..."Getting saved by beer while you're driving rarely ever happens."



3) A lab technician in the place I used to work at came in with a cold one day. As he was looking over another lab tech's shoulder as she meticulously inoculated some petri dishes, he sneezed all over her counter. What came out of his mouth next?? "Dammit, I've gone and infected the virus"



4) A friend's mom (and yes, you know who you are!) adopted a Daschund from a local pound. When asked what made her choose that dog over all the others, she said (as she snuggled and kissed the pooch) "because he looks just like a sausage and Mommy loves her big brown sausages"



5) And finally, two quotes from the great Jack Handy...



"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did"



"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it."

18 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

I love Jack Handy. He actually just wrote a new book.

Felisa said...

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did"

He stole that line from my mom. She said that to me once when I was a kid!
You know what my favorite part about working with bacteria is? Streaking.

SkylersDad said...

Great stories, and I love Jack Handy also!

Mary Moore said...

Those are good little tidbits! Thanks for the laughs!

Sassy Britches said...

The Budweiser one is a classic!

Sabrae Carter said...

Gotta love it when the beer saves you from a ticket! lol

Cora said...

"Dammit, I've gone and infected the virus" HILARIOUS!!!!

Cowguy said...

HA! We quote Jack Handy all over creation here.

Loved the post.

Chris said...

You are a very fortunate person for being able to see the humor that happens all around you everyday.

And damn, that is some funny stuff! I hate when people sneeze on my viruses!

LegalMist said...

Beer *saving* someone from a ticket? That really ought to be on "The Simpsons"!

Thanks for the chuckles today. I needed that!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Very funny stuff, thanks!

Anna Lefler said...

"Mommy loves her big, brown sausages?!?!"

HAR!

:^) Anna

Chris said...

Since I can't comment on the "I have nothing else for ya'll" post, I'll do it here. Those pictures were pretty funny, especially your dad at Mount Rushmore (it looks smaller than I would have pictured, LOL) and your two friends that stole your camera!

Have a great week!

Dale said...

Hilarious items!

My favourite failed children's book title by the way is Daddy Drinks Because You Cry.

sid said...

Hahaha. The last one is friggin hilarious

Jay said...

The only Candy I've ever met was a high-class stripper. Still WAY cheaper than a trip to the dentist though.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Your mom is a very wonderful woman. You have no idea what it's like to have a nickname like Candy.

And Cora-remember my post about the name Candy and you said you never heard of a stipper named Candy??-Refer to Jay's comment above-my case in point.

No offense Jay-

hisqueen said...

OMG--big brown sausages--really LMAO--the things we say w/out thinking them out first
Love the Jack Handy bit-wish my kids were still young-I would have used it on them.