Today, I found it so hard to find one thing I was thankful for. Which is really saying something because I just went thru the driving day from the hell not too long ago. (More on that on a different post). Today I've just been frustrated and angry and I've been on the verge of tears more than once. I'm annoyed at everyone and everything and NO before you ask, I am NOT on the rag. Sometimes life just catches up with you and you're incapable of handling it all at once.
So I posted a random thanksgiving that wasn't really random nor was it really a thanksgiving...just to have something to say. I then proceeded to get all my books out and study for an upcoming test.
A few hours later, I hear my door open and in comes my dog. I looked at him all annoyed as he started to come near me to give me kisses...he got the picture and backed away and I ignored him as he settled down into his favorite spot by my bed. An hour after that, I just about had it with reading and studying and rereading and studying and still not knowing what the hell I'm doing. I shoved my chair back and dropped my books on the floor.
I guess I woke Rex up. In the middle of a pretty good frown and sulk and mental diatribe about how stupid I am and what a loser I turned out to be etc etc etc, I happen to glance over at him. He was staring right at me with a big doofy grin on his face and his tail wagging like there's no tomorrow.
"HI!! *wag wag wag* Are you done?? Can we play?? Will you rub my belly??? *wag* I've missed you!! *wag wag* Oh, you're not done yet?? That's ok, Ill just wait for you riiiight here! *lick*" Even now as I write this, he is curled up in an impossibly small ball at my feet ready to wake up at a moment's notice, just to tell me he loves me.
And just like that, I have something to be thankful for.
11/08/2010: Today I am thankful for Rex and his waggly tail. Because he loves me even when I don't love myself. And he reminds me that no matter what is going on in my life...there's always something to wag your tail about.
4 comments:
"Sometimes life just catches up with you and you're incapable of handling it all at once."
I know this all too well, lately. It is hard to find things to be grateful for because we want those things to be big, when they're usually quite small.
Dogs are great at doing that for us, the unconditional love is a powerful thing.
My chinchillas are going to the coat factory. They don't do squat except jump around at 2 and 3 in the morning (where apparently they have gone from weighing a few ounces to 17 lbs each from the sound of it).
No "I love you, Daddy!"
No tail wagging.
I'd give you encouragement but when I'm feeling like you are and people try to encourage me, it just pisses me off even more.
Pause while I cry a little. Because you aren't feeling the best about yourself and I hope that changes, and because I want a waggy dog like yours. :)
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