Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Oh, the mind of a female...bored out of her head.

Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I was forced to stay at home from an otherwise normal work day. Normally when I have a planned day off, it is just what it is...PLANNED. Today, not so much. I had little to do but slather on face cream once every 3 hours (as needed) and wash my face with cold water prior to doing so (as needed). So it was during one of those times when I was lying in bed with anti-rash face goo on and a cold wet towel over my face (killing two birds with one stone...my specialty) that I found myself with nothing to do but think random thoughts.



-I need to get some more female friends. Like real female friends. Because if I ever get married and had to plan a bachelorette party, I would want more than 6 people to come. And if I invited a bunch of people I didn't know...well, that would be just sad.



-I should totally start designing my own wedding gown just in case. Like asap! Who knows how long it will take to make and how long I'd have to work out to fit into it! Years maybe! Stupid genes and stupid tummy bulges.



-I wonder...if I lay down long enough would my organs shift in the flat position so that when I finally get up I'd look like I had a flat stomach? Note to self...experiment to see how long of a lay down would produce the most effective flat belly illusion.



-*Gasp* Oh my God! Am I...??? *counting in my head* Oh no...false alarm, I'm good...another week and a half.



-I'm getting fat again. *sigh*



-I'm hungry. I should thank Alison for recommending that shampoo...it smells really good! *sniff* like apricots...or baked apples! Hmmm apple pie!!!



-Is that my phone ringing? *listens* Eh, it's just a text. I'm in no mood to answer it now so whoever it is can just suck it.



-I should really call HIM. When was the last time I talked to him again? Hmm...can't remember. Oh well, I don't care. I'll probably just annoy him. But what if he really wants to talk to me but is just waiting for me to call? Whatever, if he wanted to talk to you he'd call you. But what if he thinks it's my turn to call him? Nah, he's busy with work and his new girlfriend so if he wanted to chat then he can just damn well call you first.



-Maybe I should just send him a quick email. A joke or just to say hi. Or maybe not. Hmm. I'll give it another week, and if he still hasn't called then I'll send him a quick text.



-I wonder how Eagle is? I should email him...you know, just to make sure he's still alive. Note to self, email Eagle and see if he needs me to send him anything. And ask him for that stupid picture he keeps telling you he'll send.



-Some guys are just too pretty. Too darn pretty for their own good. Darn all pretty guys! Darn them to heck!



-I wonder what the Scandinavian God is doing? I should ask him to send me another one of his songs. I wonder if he'll consider it a compliment or an insult if I told him I listen to them to fall asleep....Compliment? Insult? Compliment? Insult?... He'll probably be insulted. Nevermind.



-I should have put my ipod on before I lay down. Maybe it's around here.



*feels around on her nightstand and the shelves behind her bed*



-Nope, guess not. Next time then. Remind me.



-Oooh, if I press my fingers into my eyes hard enough, I can see stars!



-How long have I been lying here? Dang it, I should have set a timer. Or I can just get up and look at the clock! Nah, I'll just sit here for another few minutes and chill....



*2 hours later*



-Dammit, did I fall asleep? I must have! I should wash my face again.



*hauls myself up from bed*



-OOps...got up too fast. I should lay down for a second till the floor stops spinning.



*hour and a half later*



-DAMMIT!

15 comments:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I think the connective tissue in your guts keeps your innards from flattening out. They also keep your intestines out of your lungs, so you have to take the good with the bad.

Contest Chris said...

Hilarious!

Felisa said...

Oooh, if I press my fingers into my eyes hard enough, I can see stars!

I KNOW RIGHT! So awesome. LOL
You are hilarious. Are you sure my brain and your brain aren't related?

Sassy Britches said...

I was so doing this all last night. It's craziness what REALLY goes through our minds!

~E said...

-Mjenks: What happened to your picture? I liked the monkey!

-Chris: Thanks! I know right?

-Felisa: who knows, we could be. Yet another reason why I don't date filipino guys...we could be related. Not that you're a filipino guy...but you know what I mean.

-Sassy Britches: poor guys who wonder what really goes on in our minds. If they ever find out they'd go nuts!

Chris said...

My favorite part of "rushing random thoughts" like that is when you stop and ask yourself, "Did I really just freaking THINK that?"

That damn expat said...

Just so you know, I'm holding myself responsible for your first two thoughts!

~E said...

Expat: What do you mean you're holding yourself responsible? I don't get it.

That damn expat said...

Damn. I shouldn't comment before finishing my first cup of coffee.
I meant that all my wedding talk inspired your first two thoughts, which then snowballed into the rest you described.
I'm magnamonius that way :-P

~E said...

AH! Well, when you're right, you're right. Now I can sleep easy.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

What's up with this rash thing?? Do you think it is stress related?? You know, the tests and all. Obviously you have seen a doctor, hence the cream. If the topical does not work you may need an oral antibiotic or something.
And-when all else fails-really-try cortisone cream. The shit is miraculous.

Matt said...

If I were to post something like this about what goes on in my brain...

it would be like, 50 words or so.

..:: C ::.. said...

and ... NO.

Gwen said...

Sorry about the face rash. That blows monkeys. I was, however, laughing my ass off at your stream of consciousness post.

~E said...

Candy: No, I had an allergic reaction to a facial.

Matt: Give yourself some credit...it would probably be more like 55.

C: I know I know! I'm a girl! Do you know how many times I have that thought a day before I talk myself out of it! Settle down! ;)

Gwen: You know you do it too!