A combination of a Vlog with some much needed shout outs and dedications, and my next Travelog Series about Washington State. Hope you all enjoy!
Showing posts with label HIM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HIM. Show all posts
Friday, May 29, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
When friendship is the line...
I just had an ex...THE ex...LE HIM...ask me for advice concerning his new girlfriend. Odd right? Most people (and by people I mean girls...and some men too I suppose) would tell the ex in question to take a flying leap. At first I told him that I know we are civil and that we can usually discuss most topics but that I respectfully abstain from that particular conversation. Then he played up to my curiousity (just consider me the damn cat, SPLAT...dead!) and said something that was guaranteed to hook my interest so of course I told him to go ahead and tell me what his problems were. But being a girl I changed my mind a couple hours later and told him that I wasn't ready, not strong enough yet to hear about his little lady love.
Long story short thru a series of unasked questions and volunteered answers I did end up finding out what the issues were and unknowingly giving advice. That isn't my point however.
We had been close friends for years and years...then best friends...before we even decided to pursue a relationship with each other. Because of our history together, I fell for him. I mean I fell HARD. HARD! I thought that because he was my best friend, that I was safe and he would never never hurt me. Of course this story would suck if it ended happily ever after. Fortunately for you and this blog post it didn't. He broke my heart as only he could...because as the song goes "he's the only one who had enough of it to break my heart". It took me 3 months after certain...incidents...came to light to be brave enough to end it with him. It was another 5 months after that before I went a whole day without bursting out crying for no reason or crying myself to sleep or missing him so much that I thought about going back. Now here I stand, almost exactly a year later and though I knew I had to cross it eventually, I never really expected it to happen.
It was a step...a step past that friendship line that we all strive to cross when we've had our hearts broken...and it feels...well, it feels weird. I didn't want to hear about his girlfriend because I thought it would hurt, but you know what? It didn't! Sure I felt a little twinge in the corners of my gut, but other than that...nothing! No hate, no animosity towards the girl, not even that used to be familiar need to be loved by him that I used to feel all the time. In fact, I surprised myself by feeling kinda sorry for them to be going thru their little problems.
There were many lessons to be learned this last year. Among them was above all else, be true to yourself. Don't trust too easily or be too uncautious when giving your heart away. And of course, relationships can't stand on love alone. That's my favorite one because you know what? I will always miss the love I gave him and the love I thought I received back. I will never regret giving him all of my heart because it did me good in the long run. And even though I'll probably always love him, I will never be in love with him because I can never trust him again (well, maybe not never...but it will take a ginormously huge miracle and all the planets plus pluto aligning for me to be convinced to trust him again).
I don't know if this means I've truly mended, or if it just means that my heart broke so badly it couldn't possibly be hurt (by him) anymore. My best buddy Mr. A would probably say that it means I've moved on, that Im no longer in the delusion that we will be together ever again and that I've accepted it and am happy with it. I'll take any of the above.
Long story short thru a series of unasked questions and volunteered answers I did end up finding out what the issues were and unknowingly giving advice. That isn't my point however.
We had been close friends for years and years...then best friends...before we even decided to pursue a relationship with each other. Because of our history together, I fell for him. I mean I fell HARD. HARD! I thought that because he was my best friend, that I was safe and he would never never hurt me. Of course this story would suck if it ended happily ever after. Fortunately for you and this blog post it didn't. He broke my heart as only he could...because as the song goes "he's the only one who had enough of it to break my heart". It took me 3 months after certain...incidents...came to light to be brave enough to end it with him. It was another 5 months after that before I went a whole day without bursting out crying for no reason or crying myself to sleep or missing him so much that I thought about going back. Now here I stand, almost exactly a year later and though I knew I had to cross it eventually, I never really expected it to happen.
It was a step...a step past that friendship line that we all strive to cross when we've had our hearts broken...and it feels...well, it feels weird. I didn't want to hear about his girlfriend because I thought it would hurt, but you know what? It didn't! Sure I felt a little twinge in the corners of my gut, but other than that...nothing! No hate, no animosity towards the girl, not even that used to be familiar need to be loved by him that I used to feel all the time. In fact, I surprised myself by feeling kinda sorry for them to be going thru their little problems.
There were many lessons to be learned this last year. Among them was above all else, be true to yourself. Don't trust too easily or be too uncautious when giving your heart away. And of course, relationships can't stand on love alone. That's my favorite one because you know what? I will always miss the love I gave him and the love I thought I received back. I will never regret giving him all of my heart because it did me good in the long run. And even though I'll probably always love him, I will never be in love with him because I can never trust him again (well, maybe not never...but it will take a ginormously huge miracle and all the planets plus pluto aligning for me to be convinced to trust him again).
I don't know if this means I've truly mended, or if it just means that my heart broke so badly it couldn't possibly be hurt (by him) anymore. My best buddy Mr. A would probably say that it means I've moved on, that Im no longer in the delusion that we will be together ever again and that I've accepted it and am happy with it. I'll take any of the above.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Oh, the mind of a female...bored out of her head.
Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I was forced to stay at home from an otherwise normal work day. Normally when I have a planned day off, it is just what it is...PLANNED. Today, not so much. I had little to do but slather on face cream once every 3 hours (as needed) and wash my face with cold water prior to doing so (as needed). So it was during one of those times when I was lying in bed with anti-rash face goo on and a cold wet towel over my face (killing two birds with one stone...my specialty) that I found myself with nothing to do but think random thoughts.
-I need to get some more female friends. Like real female friends. Because if I ever get married and had to plan a bachelorette party, I would want more than 6 people to come. And if I invited a bunch of people I didn't know...well, that would be just sad.
-I should totally start designing my own wedding gown just in case. Like asap! Who knows how long it will take to make and how long I'd have to work out to fit into it! Years maybe! Stupid genes and stupid tummy bulges.
-I wonder...if I lay down long enough would my organs shift in the flat position so that when I finally get up I'd look like I had a flat stomach? Note to self...experiment to see how long of a lay down would produce the most effective flat belly illusion.
-*Gasp* Oh my God! Am I...??? *counting in my head* Oh no...false alarm, I'm good...another week and a half.
-I'm getting fat again. *sigh*
-I'm hungry. I should thank Alison for recommending that shampoo...it smells really good! *sniff* like apricots...or baked apples! Hmmm apple pie!!!
-Is that my phone ringing? *listens* Eh, it's just a text. I'm in no mood to answer it now so whoever it is can just suck it.
-I should really call HIM. When was the last time I talked to him again? Hmm...can't remember. Oh well, I don't care. I'll probably just annoy him. But what if he really wants to talk to me but is just waiting for me to call? Whatever, if he wanted to talk to you he'd call you. But what if he thinks it's my turn to call him? Nah, he's busy with work and his new girlfriend so if he wanted to chat then he can just damn well call you first.
-Maybe I should just send him a quick email. A joke or just to say hi. Or maybe not. Hmm. I'll give it another week, and if he still hasn't called then I'll send him a quick text.
-I wonder how Eagle is? I should email him...you know, just to make sure he's still alive. Note to self, email Eagle and see if he needs me to send him anything. And ask him for that stupid picture he keeps telling you he'll send.
-Some guys are just too pretty. Too darn pretty for their own good. Darn all pretty guys! Darn them to heck!
-I wonder what the Scandinavian God is doing? I should ask him to send me another one of his songs. I wonder if he'll consider it a compliment or an insult if I told him I listen to them to fall asleep....Compliment? Insult? Compliment? Insult?... He'll probably be insulted. Nevermind.
-I should have put my ipod on before I lay down. Maybe it's around here.
*feels around on her nightstand and the shelves behind her bed*
-Nope, guess not. Next time then. Remind me.
-Oooh, if I press my fingers into my eyes hard enough, I can see stars!
-How long have I been lying here? Dang it, I should have set a timer. Or I can just get up and look at the clock! Nah, I'll just sit here for another few minutes and chill....
*2 hours later*
-Dammit, did I fall asleep? I must have! I should wash my face again.
*hauls myself up from bed*
-OOps...got up too fast. I should lay down for a second till the floor stops spinning.
*hour and a half later*
-DAMMIT!
-I need to get some more female friends. Like real female friends. Because if I ever get married and had to plan a bachelorette party, I would want more than 6 people to come. And if I invited a bunch of people I didn't know...well, that would be just sad.
-I should totally start designing my own wedding gown just in case. Like asap! Who knows how long it will take to make and how long I'd have to work out to fit into it! Years maybe! Stupid genes and stupid tummy bulges.
-I wonder...if I lay down long enough would my organs shift in the flat position so that when I finally get up I'd look like I had a flat stomach? Note to self...experiment to see how long of a lay down would produce the most effective flat belly illusion.
-*Gasp* Oh my God! Am I...??? *counting in my head* Oh no...false alarm, I'm good...another week and a half.
-I'm getting fat again. *sigh*
-I'm hungry. I should thank Alison for recommending that shampoo...it smells really good! *sniff* like apricots...or baked apples! Hmmm apple pie!!!
-Is that my phone ringing? *listens* Eh, it's just a text. I'm in no mood to answer it now so whoever it is can just suck it.
-I should really call HIM. When was the last time I talked to him again? Hmm...can't remember. Oh well, I don't care. I'll probably just annoy him. But what if he really wants to talk to me but is just waiting for me to call? Whatever, if he wanted to talk to you he'd call you. But what if he thinks it's my turn to call him? Nah, he's busy with work and his new girlfriend so if he wanted to chat then he can just damn well call you first.
-Maybe I should just send him a quick email. A joke or just to say hi. Or maybe not. Hmm. I'll give it another week, and if he still hasn't called then I'll send him a quick text.
-I wonder how Eagle is? I should email him...you know, just to make sure he's still alive. Note to self, email Eagle and see if he needs me to send him anything. And ask him for that stupid picture he keeps telling you he'll send.
-Some guys are just too pretty. Too darn pretty for their own good. Darn all pretty guys! Darn them to heck!
-I wonder what the Scandinavian God is doing? I should ask him to send me another one of his songs. I wonder if he'll consider it a compliment or an insult if I told him I listen to them to fall asleep....Compliment? Insult? Compliment? Insult?... He'll probably be insulted. Nevermind.
-I should have put my ipod on before I lay down. Maybe it's around here.
*feels around on her nightstand and the shelves behind her bed*
-Nope, guess not. Next time then. Remind me.
-Oooh, if I press my fingers into my eyes hard enough, I can see stars!
-How long have I been lying here? Dang it, I should have set a timer. Or I can just get up and look at the clock! Nah, I'll just sit here for another few minutes and chill....
*2 hours later*
-Dammit, did I fall asleep? I must have! I should wash my face again.
*hauls myself up from bed*
-OOps...got up too fast. I should lay down for a second till the floor stops spinning.
*hour and a half later*
-DAMMIT!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
How many Vicodin does it take to render yourself unconcious?
..I have 6...wonder if that's enough?
Just found out that an ex's new girlfriend is an f*ing cheerleader for the f*ing Oakland f*ing Raiders. Straight from the horses mouth. He called to see if I was doing ok and I told him I was fine...that a coworker sent me home with a couple dvd's of past Superbowls and I was being lazy... Then he said "that's great...you know [girl's name] is really into football too...but more because of her job I think". I should know a setup when I hear it, but to my defense I was high off of pain killers and wasn't my quick self so I said "what job is that?".
"oh, she's a Raiderette". It's not an off broadway version of the Rockettes...I looked it up. Blah! :(
Great! Yet another reason why I should scorn and loathe him. And my first reason (first in a long line I'm sure) to not root for the Raiders. Here's the second...great big sweaty monkey balls!
Because I'm obsessive like that I looked her up and let's just say she looks a lot like me. Except taller, skinnier, prettier, and she even comes with attachments (ie. manufactured parts). Just call me Cheerleader Lite! Half the makeup and apparently a lot less filling.
You know what? I'd still rather be an NFL coach than a stupid cheerleader. No offense to my cheerleader readers. Cheerleaders are ok as far as people go. Unless you're THE cheerleader...in which case *&%^)#%#^ you!!!.
I sure picked a great time to try to quit cussing...
Now if you'll excuse me while my tough, 'nad kicking, smartass inner self pounds my jealous, girly, insecure inner self into a big bloody paste!
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When I'm stressed, I cook. YES, that's right...I watch football, I'm funny, AND I cook! Take that damn Raiderette!
Go here for pics and recipes of tonight's home cooked awesome as f**k dinner.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
The Ultimate cure for Man-jadedness
Well, since only three of my wanted 6 guest bloggers agreed to guest blog (and I'm still waiting on their masterpieces to start flooding my email), I am forced to recycle some of my old crap...I mean "genious posts" for you all to read. See what happens when you say no to me??? Everybody loses! For SHAME!!
Anyway, this was written during my man-jaded-but-severely-in-denial-and-so-freakin-lonely phase. Also, it was around the time when hottie ex EAGLE decided to rear his ugly head and send me a hello from very far away. Incidentally, it was also around the time when equally hott ex BLT was being an asswipe, and not the soft kind. The scratchy kind that leaves lint all up in your butt areas. Go figure....
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I was discussing the repurcussions and ramifications of replying back to EAGLE with my therapist. Yes, I see a therapist. Or rather I talk to one. She's my friend and still in the midst of getting her doctorate and I don't pay her...so really I'm not an official head case. Just one in denial. Anyway, back to the story...
I was talking to my friend about replying back to him when she suggested that I do a little exercise. She said that to make me feel better about the relationship mistakes that I've done she wanted me to compose a nice...NICE...note to each and every single one of the dudes. No less than 2 full sentences to each of them. And it had to be nice. And cordial. Well, shoot...I am as cordial and genteel as the next f-ing chic out there. Sounded easy enough so I decided to humor her. I mean really humor her. Although I was completely honest and I'm super sure that they (if they ever read this...god forbid) would agree that they are all very personal, it wouldn't be an E-original masterpiece if I didn't include a healthy dose of smart-assy-ness! And shut it Mr. A ! I can freaking hear you laughing and nodding your head from here! And by the wayside...I only count 3 of these 8, but apparently anything that lasted longer than a month or 3 dates (which ever came last) counted. So I'm not really as whorish as it looks. REALLY!
Now then, in no particular order:
Dude #1: le Chinois
It wasn't me, it was you! Just kidding...it was really me (*smiley face*).
Dude #2: F.S.N.
I love you like a brother. But unfortunately, incest is illegal in all 50 states.
Dude #3: EAGLE
You were my personal real life Vin Diesel...except not gay. Right?!? And I really miss riding it.
Dude #4: BLT
What can I say, you were my Prince Charming complete with outfit. I loved you like Di loved Charles...and I'm sure you loved me the same way!
Dude #5: Buzz-Man
You've proven to me time and again that blondes aren't really that dumb. Now if we can only prove it to other people!!!
Dude #6: UNLved
Have a great life. And by life I mean "std". Hahaha...no I mean LIFE *wink wink*.
Dude #7: Two Wheels
I've always been curious about how life works out in unexpected ways. Meeting you has satisfied that curiousity...I'm glad and happy to know that riding the banana didn't injure your junk! (*smiley face*)
Dude #8: Training Wheels
Twix are for kids. Here's a bowl on me!!!
What do you mean those were not nice?!?! Did you not see the generous sprinkling of smiley faces??? Tough crowd!
Anyway, this was written during my man-jaded-but-severely-in-denial-and-so-freakin-lonely phase. Also, it was around the time when hottie ex EAGLE decided to rear his ugly head and send me a hello from very far away. Incidentally, it was also around the time when equally hott ex BLT was being an asswipe, and not the soft kind. The scratchy kind that leaves lint all up in your butt areas. Go figure....
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
I was discussing the repurcussions and ramifications of replying back to EAGLE with my therapist. Yes, I see a therapist. Or rather I talk to one. She's my friend and still in the midst of getting her doctorate and I don't pay her...so really I'm not an official head case. Just one in denial. Anyway, back to the story...
I was talking to my friend about replying back to him when she suggested that I do a little exercise. She said that to make me feel better about the relationship mistakes that I've done she wanted me to compose a nice...NICE...note to each and every single one of the dudes. No less than 2 full sentences to each of them. And it had to be nice. And cordial. Well, shoot...I am as cordial and genteel as the next f-ing chic out there. Sounded easy enough so I decided to humor her. I mean really humor her. Although I was completely honest and I'm super sure that they (if they ever read this...god forbid) would agree that they are all very personal, it wouldn't be an E-original masterpiece if I didn't include a healthy dose of smart-assy-ness! And shut it Mr. A ! I can freaking hear you laughing and nodding your head from here! And by the wayside...I only count 3 of these 8, but apparently anything that lasted longer than a month or 3 dates (which ever came last) counted. So I'm not really as whorish as it looks. REALLY!
Now then, in no particular order:
Dude #1: le Chinois
It wasn't me, it was you! Just kidding...it was really me (*smiley face*).
Dude #2: F.S.N.
I love you like a brother. But unfortunately, incest is illegal in all 50 states.
Dude #3: EAGLE
You were my personal real life Vin Diesel...except not gay. Right?!? And I really miss riding it.
Dude #4: BLT
What can I say, you were my Prince Charming complete with outfit. I loved you like Di loved Charles...and I'm sure you loved me the same way!
Dude #5: Buzz-Man
You've proven to me time and again that blondes aren't really that dumb. Now if we can only prove it to other people!!!
Dude #6: UNLved
Have a great life. And by life I mean "std". Hahaha...no I mean LIFE *wink wink*.
Dude #7: Two Wheels
I've always been curious about how life works out in unexpected ways. Meeting you has satisfied that curiousity...I'm glad and happy to know that riding the banana didn't injure your junk! (*smiley face*)
Dude #8: Training Wheels
Twix are for kids. Here's a bowl on me!!!
What do you mean those were not nice?!?! Did you not see the generous sprinkling of smiley faces??? Tough crowd!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The "post for a different day"...
Ive gotten over it, but I'm not ready to move on just yet. I know I've been in love once, and I thought I was in love twice before. With that knowledge comes the motivation for me to not settle for anything but what I really want. I gave my heart away a long time ago. And if it comes down to a choice between settling for something that is just good enough or holding out for what my heart really wants...I am inclined more so nowadays to choose the latter. Even if it means a lifetime of heartache. But what if what or who your heart truly desires won't make you happy either? It's a question I have asked myself time and again and there is never a clear answer. If only he opens his eyes. Steps up to the line and opens his heart. Or closes it. Something. I will even settle for a confirmation that what I want and what he wants are not the same thing and will never be the same. Then at least I will have closure, not this straddling the line and fighting with myself with no ups, downs, or end to it. This is it, and this is all. All the dreams everynight, the yearning for every day. The heart wants her true love.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Like "day-old-tuna" fishy...
Who wouldn't crap their pants if they got a random text at 12:09am from a number you don't know that said "I'm alone too". I meant crap my pants proverbially of course, I haven't crapped my pants since I was...well...nevermind. My point is, it was creepy and I was kinda scared. I texted Mr. Anderson [I presume] to figure out what I should do and he came to the conclusion much faster than me that the whole situation was "beee essss" and it was probably some goober friends of mine bored out of their minds pranking me.
...have I ever mentioned how I have the bestest friends in the whole world?
Anyhoo, this is how the convo went (kinda...Im too lazy to post everything and I've taken some liberties in recalling the exact text)
Me: who is this?
Random dude/dudette: I met you at [insert local bar here] and you gave me your business card
Me: I've never been to [insert local bar here] so whoever it was who gave you my card, it wasn't me.
R.d/d: What are you doing for halloween? Honestly we should get together
Me: send me a pic or something so I know who you are
R.d/d: Im too shy
Me: Bullshit! You're a creepy weirdo who's out to stalk me and I am warning you I'll punch you in the eye if you come anywhere near me! (<--ok so I didn't really say that...but I would have if I wasn't so scared they'd actually stalk me...what I really said was-->) Well, I don't know who this is and I really don't remember handing my card out to you.
R.d/d: I'm off on Friday, we should have lunch
Me: I appreciate the offer but no, since I don't remember you I think this is all a joke or someone pranking me.
R.d/d: no reply.
So I don't know...hopefully that's the end of it. But interestingly enough Le BLT texted me goodnight about 5 minutes after I sent out that last text. Hmmm....as Mr. Anderson said "fiiishy". I hear ya Mr. Anderson...super super fishy!
Just in case Random dude/dudette is reading this and is planning on stalking me can I just say that I am constantly followed by a 6'4 african american former linebacker named "Grid Iron Gary" who will tackle you into the ground and pound you into a bloody paste should you so much as breathe at me wrong.
And if you are reading this and are 6'4 and african american and looks as if he could have played football at one point or another in his life and don't mind being called "Grid Iron Gary"...please give me a call or send me an email. I may have an exciting job offer for you!
...have I ever mentioned how I have the bestest friends in the whole world?
Anyhoo, this is how the convo went (kinda...Im too lazy to post everything and I've taken some liberties in recalling the exact text)
Me: who is this?
Random dude/dudette: I met you at [insert local bar here] and you gave me your business card
Me: I've never been to [insert local bar here] so whoever it was who gave you my card, it wasn't me.
R.d/d: What are you doing for halloween? Honestly we should get together
Me: send me a pic or something so I know who you are
R.d/d: Im too shy
Me: Bullshit! You're a creepy weirdo who's out to stalk me and I am warning you I'll punch you in the eye if you come anywhere near me! (<--ok so I didn't really say that...but I would have if I wasn't so scared they'd actually stalk me...what I really said was-->) Well, I don't know who this is and I really don't remember handing my card out to you.
R.d/d: I'm off on Friday, we should have lunch
Me: I appreciate the offer but no, since I don't remember you I think this is all a joke or someone pranking me.
R.d/d: no reply.
So I don't know...hopefully that's the end of it. But interestingly enough Le BLT texted me goodnight about 5 minutes after I sent out that last text. Hmmm....as Mr. Anderson said "fiiishy". I hear ya Mr. Anderson...super super fishy!
Just in case Random dude/dudette is reading this and is planning on stalking me can I just say that I am constantly followed by a 6'4 african american former linebacker named "Grid Iron Gary" who will tackle you into the ground and pound you into a bloody paste should you so much as breathe at me wrong.
And if you are reading this and are 6'4 and african american and looks as if he could have played football at one point or another in his life and don't mind being called "Grid Iron Gary"...please give me a call or send me an email. I may have an exciting job offer for you!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Hold on to those barf bags...this is gonna be a long one!
For some reason, everything worth blogging about all decided to hit me at once. Not only did I decide to do a weekly themed update blog and have been hoarding all my blog ideas just for this day alone, but a lot of other random blogworthy topics decided to rear their ugly faces (thus saving me from having to manufacture, or *gasp* recycle old ideas to fill up some blog that no one reads anyway).
Anyhoo...if you all are seated and comfortable with beverages and food, let's get started:
~The whole reason I was going to put up a blog today is to start off my NEW MUSIC WEDNESDAYS! Here's the first one...and by the way, I don't care if you've heard it before! It's all new to me!
~So as all of you know I'm boring and have no life so I augment my daily humdrum life by following a bunch of blogs. There were a couple really funny posts today so I'm gonna go ahead and pimp them out. If you read their blogs make sure you tell them who sent you. I'm kinda hoping if I send enough people their way, I'll win a prize! :)
Your Beard is Good: Hate is a Strong Word but I really really really don't like you!
Some Guy's Blog: Just call him "Poo Pants"
Lots Better than Your Blog: Anything from this chic is golden. Purely hysterical!
Anyhoo...if you all are seated and comfortable with beverages and food, let's get started:
~The whole reason I was going to put up a blog today is to start off my NEW MUSIC WEDNESDAYS! Here's the first one...and by the way, I don't care if you've heard it before! It's all new to me!
Lady GaGa -- Poker Face
~Le premier Bro-han called with new tat ideas for my third tattoo. That's right, I've got a couple but really...nowadays who doesn't? You dissaprove? Well look closely, this is the face of someone who doesn't care! Once he finalizes the design I'll post them on here. In fact, how about I get all your inputs about where I should put it! Any input will be welcome (read: lame attempt at increasing the amount of blog comments).
~Guess who is the newest contributor over at a new blog? Well, actually since it's a new blog technically everyone is a new contributor. My buddy Mr. Anderson over at Life on the Crawl set up a new blog called Favorite Eats. It's all about tried and true recipes guaranteed not to kill you or send you conversing with ye olde toilet Gods. Should be pretty interesting since it comes at a time when I'm facing my fear of the cooking demons and channeling my inner Julia Child (except I'm asian...and not old or 6ft. tall...so I guess not really Julia Child. More like a non annoying Rachel Ray).
~So as all of you know I'm boring and have no life so I augment my daily humdrum life by following a bunch of blogs. There were a couple really funny posts today so I'm gonna go ahead and pimp them out. If you read their blogs make sure you tell them who sent you. I'm kinda hoping if I send enough people their way, I'll win a prize! :)
Your Beard is Good: Hate is a Strong Word but I really really really don't like you!
Some Guy's Blog: Just call him "Poo Pants"
Lots Better than Your Blog: Anything from this chic is golden. Purely hysterical!
~I've decided to finally use my iPod after receiving it as a gift some 7 months ago. Yeah, ludicrous how I'm just now getting addicted to it huh? But in my defense (just so you don't think I'm some lousy luddite) I did have one of the first iPod mini's all throughout college but I got so sick and tired of trying to navigate the damn iTunes that I gave it up. Anyway, if any of you have any suggestions for songs to download or podcasts to subscribe to then please feel free to swamp my comment inbox...remember, I have no life so here I sit...patiently waiting...
~So I got a call from HIM last night. Nice to catch up. Really. Maybe later I'll write a big post about it complete with feelings and emotions and all those stupid girly things that stupid girls want to talk about but for now I'll just leave it at that. Oh, I did want to say that the contract I made about waiting two days before saying stuff that's on my mind? Definitely saving my ass and my sanity.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Non Blog...
I wanna be in love again darnit!!!
But guys (especially the one who unknowingly keeps pick-pick-pickin away at me) are such dillholes! MEN! Can't love em, can't get away with shootin em'.
[except of course for Mr. Anderson-I-presume...he gets it! Darn those dillholey girls too, huh C?! Bring me back a large alcoholic beverage from Vegas will ya? Put it in your carry on.]
GRRRR!!!!
There's no blog here. In fact, this is probably just a result of insomnia (it's 3am...who's surprised?? no one?? me neither!) and pms and I'll probably just end up taking this down in a few days anyway.
Do me a favor? If you read this (does anyone actually read this?) take some time off of your undoubtedly busy and rewarding lives to send me some love? Text, email, blog comment, note rubberbanded to a brick thrown thru my bedroom window? S'all good. Your kindheartedness will definitely be rewarded in heaven (or hell, depending on the kind of love you send me).
On and another thing.
I love this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cfahXQh-X8.
And this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kAUt3K1pPU. And yes, before you ask, I DO understand the song.
They're so hot and heavy...totally what I'd listen to while...well, ya know...procreating (in a dirty manner of course...none of that nandy-panby tears in your eyes because it was all so beautiful crap) with that special someone.
Is that weird?
Ok I'm done.
But guys (especially the one who unknowingly keeps pick-pick-pickin away at me) are such dillholes! MEN! Can't love em, can't get away with shootin em'.
[except of course for Mr. Anderson-I-presume...he gets it! Darn those dillholey girls too, huh C?! Bring me back a large alcoholic beverage from Vegas will ya? Put it in your carry on.]
GRRRR!!!!
There's no blog here. In fact, this is probably just a result of insomnia (it's 3am...who's surprised?? no one?? me neither!) and pms and I'll probably just end up taking this down in a few days anyway.
Do me a favor? If you read this (does anyone actually read this?) take some time off of your undoubtedly busy and rewarding lives to send me some love? Text, email, blog comment, note rubberbanded to a brick thrown thru my bedroom window? S'all good. Your kindheartedness will definitely be rewarded in heaven (or hell, depending on the kind of love you send me).
On and another thing.
I love this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cfahXQh-X8.
And this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kAUt3K1pPU. And yes, before you ask, I DO understand the song.
They're so hot and heavy...totally what I'd listen to while...well, ya know...procreating (in a dirty manner of course...none of that nandy-panby tears in your eyes because it was all so beautiful crap) with that special someone.
Is that weird?
Ok I'm done.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
From the Heart...
I have this friend who called me late a few nights ago because he was very upset. Let's face it, who else is awake at 0230 right? Anyway, we talked and I listened and gave great advice like I always do.
I won't bore you with the details but I got to thinking about how I really should start following my own advice. I've been trying to detach myself from someone because I was uncomfortable with the thought that this person is seeing/sleeping with/dating/lunching other girls and I figured instead of trying to pretend to be all cool with it and pretending that we were back to being "just friends" again that I'd just avoid him all together. I didn't want to be the girl who can't take a hint and can't leave him alone. It made sense at the time but it sounds stupid now on paper. I got really...upset...and weirded out when I heard about his current girl-friend. Hard as I tried to ignore it and be mature, I got super SUPER jealous and insecure, I won't lie.
Then I realized, you know what? I've been dating too and if he was ok with it, why shouldn't I be? It's not that he was ok with me dating because he meant more to me than I did to him...there's no way for me to know that. But what I do know is people handle situations differently. He needs to have connections just as much as the next person, and he wants to be happy as much as I do. Exactly what accomplishes that goal, however is different for each of us. And I wanted...want...him to be happy. I figured if I stopped tiptoeing around the issue and accept it then I'd be much more content...and I am! Besides I'm still damn glad "He and I" happened despite how it ended.
I guess I just had to resign myself and accept that it's human nature to want things we either can't have or want things back that we once had. You know what I mean? I wanted what we used to be but once I told myself even if we got back together that it wouldn't be the same then I guess I became ok with the situation as it stands. And there's no going back to being friends like we used to be before "we" happened. We just need to find a new category that we both fit into with each other and that will take time. I don't mind, I've got time I'm willing to invest :) All I can do is support him as much as I can and wish him luck that whoever he is with (or will be with) will be better for him than I was, and to let him know how much I still love and miss him always.
I want what is best for the both of us, whether it be each other or someone else or no one else at the moment.
I won't bore you with the details but I got to thinking about how I really should start following my own advice. I've been trying to detach myself from someone because I was uncomfortable with the thought that this person is seeing/sleeping with/dating/lunching other girls and I figured instead of trying to pretend to be all cool with it and pretending that we were back to being "just friends" again that I'd just avoid him all together. I didn't want to be the girl who can't take a hint and can't leave him alone. It made sense at the time but it sounds stupid now on paper. I got really...upset...and weirded out when I heard about his current girl-friend. Hard as I tried to ignore it and be mature, I got super SUPER jealous and insecure, I won't lie.
Then I realized, you know what? I've been dating too and if he was ok with it, why shouldn't I be? It's not that he was ok with me dating because he meant more to me than I did to him...there's no way for me to know that. But what I do know is people handle situations differently. He needs to have connections just as much as the next person, and he wants to be happy as much as I do. Exactly what accomplishes that goal, however is different for each of us. And I wanted...want...him to be happy. I figured if I stopped tiptoeing around the issue and accept it then I'd be much more content...and I am! Besides I'm still damn glad "He and I" happened despite how it ended.
I guess I just had to resign myself and accept that it's human nature to want things we either can't have or want things back that we once had. You know what I mean? I wanted what we used to be but once I told myself even if we got back together that it wouldn't be the same then I guess I became ok with the situation as it stands. And there's no going back to being friends like we used to be before "we" happened. We just need to find a new category that we both fit into with each other and that will take time. I don't mind, I've got time I'm willing to invest :) All I can do is support him as much as I can and wish him luck that whoever he is with (or will be with) will be better for him than I was, and to let him know how much I still love and miss him always.
I want what is best for the both of us, whether it be each other or someone else or no one else at the moment.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Straight from the [proverbial] horses mouth...
Some random, yet poignant things I heard today...
~from the Delilah show on the radio...as I drove home from work:
"Love is a gift. No matter how true or how faithful or how wonderful the love is you give to someone, if they have their hands full with other baggages, then they just aren't able to receive it. It doesn't make your love any less wonderful. It just means that the other person must sort thru all the other stuff going on in their lives before they are able to accept the love you give them. But don't let that stop you from trying to give it anyway. All you can do is pray for that person that someday soon they will open their eyes and be in a position where they are able to welcome you into their lives" -- Delilah
~from last night's episode of Bones...as I watched it online a few hours ago:
"Look, this tension between us? I hate it! I mean I know that we broke up and everything but I've experienced loss before and lived thru it and you have too. And I'm not gonna pretend that this didn't happen because it might be easier to break up that way. I'm gonna re-live us...so I'm not gonna hide anymore and I'm not gonna walk on eggshells. I'm just gonna accept that this whole damn mess happened and pain or not, I'm glad it did." -- Angela from 'Bones: The Crank in the Shaft'
~from the Delilah show on the radio...as I drove home from work:
"Love is a gift. No matter how true or how faithful or how wonderful the love is you give to someone, if they have their hands full with other baggages, then they just aren't able to receive it. It doesn't make your love any less wonderful. It just means that the other person must sort thru all the other stuff going on in their lives before they are able to accept the love you give them. But don't let that stop you from trying to give it anyway. All you can do is pray for that person that someday soon they will open their eyes and be in a position where they are able to welcome you into their lives" -- Delilah
~from last night's episode of Bones...as I watched it online a few hours ago:
"Look, this tension between us? I hate it! I mean I know that we broke up and everything but I've experienced loss before and lived thru it and you have too. And I'm not gonna pretend that this didn't happen because it might be easier to break up that way. I'm gonna re-live us...so I'm not gonna hide anymore and I'm not gonna walk on eggshells. I'm just gonna accept that this whole damn mess happened and pain or not, I'm glad it did." -- Angela from 'Bones: The Crank in the Shaft'
Sunday, September 28, 2008
A Manifestation of Violent Tendencies...
I had a dream. Unfortunately it wasn't as lofty or grandiose as "other" dreams that you may have heard of. It was one of those dreams where you wake up simultaneously disturbed, curious, emotional, and confused as to whether it meant something or if it was just all the flu medicine I've been ingesting the last few days.
It was night. Shadowy and dark but I could see really well. I think it was a forest? Or maybe a field...and I'm running and running and running. At first I don't know why but I know I'm running for a reason, when suddenly I spot him. And now I know I'm not merely running but chasing him and he is running away from me. Finally I get him cornered against a bush or a wall or *shrug*. And he turns around and looks at me, and I can see those eyes of his. Even in the dark they are a warm golden brown and I almost melt. But instead I pull out a gun and I point it at him and he is staring at it. He says "if you're really gonna do this, then at least tell me you love me". I stop for a split second and I think, then I say "no". Simply that. And I pull the trigger. As I shoot, he turns suddenly so that I ended up shooting him in the back.
The sound of the gun shot was so loud in my dream that I woke myself up. It took me a second to convince my subconcious that I was just dreaming and when the fact finally clicked in my head I started to cry. I can't even begin to explain why...but it seemed like a good idea at the time. The whole thing so disturbed me that I called up a psychology doctorate friend of mine, as well as two other friends to ask them what they thought of it. They were all in accordance that it seemed my inner 'Id' was telling me that I still loved him and want him back but I know I shouldn't and I feel that the only way to stop feeling that way about him is to resort to drastic measures. Scary!
My doctor friend even suggested that maybe the reason it bugged me so much for so many days after is because he "died" without ever knowing how I really felt. So I texted him the next day and told him that "I had a disturbing dream and felt the need to say something to [him] but I would really appreciate it if he didn't say anything back to me...that I do love and miss [him]". I won't tell you what he said back but I did feel really good about my actions.
Regardless of what the dream meant, if it meant anything at all I'm glad that in the off-chance that he should die today (not as a result of anything I would do) that he knows how I feel.
It was all about closure maybe?
Or maybe I need to lay off the meds...
-----
Update: I just read this on one of the blogs I follow. I swear she is so smart about these things, and just manages to put words to all my thoughts. Here is an exerpt, but for the rest of the blog go check out her page.
"...We want to make sure we've left our mark. We don't want to be just one of many. We want to be the one that got away. The one that you still think about at night, regardless of who is lying next to you. We want to be the relationship that you compare all the others to.
And we want this (even though we know it's unrealistic because most guys don't think like that) because we need it to feel better about ourselves. And about how much you meant to us
Even if you want the best for someone, and you know in your heart the best isn't you? You still want them to remember. Even if you're happier now than you ever were with them, you want them to remember. And any time I see him, I want to look damn good. Because he'll remember.If you've been loved by me, you don't forget it"
by Tia, Clever Girl Goes Blog http://www.clevergirlgoesblog.blogspot.com
It was night. Shadowy and dark but I could see really well. I think it was a forest? Or maybe a field...and I'm running and running and running. At first I don't know why but I know I'm running for a reason, when suddenly I spot him. And now I know I'm not merely running but chasing him and he is running away from me. Finally I get him cornered against a bush or a wall or *shrug*. And he turns around and looks at me, and I can see those eyes of his. Even in the dark they are a warm golden brown and I almost melt. But instead I pull out a gun and I point it at him and he is staring at it. He says "if you're really gonna do this, then at least tell me you love me". I stop for a split second and I think, then I say "no". Simply that. And I pull the trigger. As I shoot, he turns suddenly so that I ended up shooting him in the back.
The sound of the gun shot was so loud in my dream that I woke myself up. It took me a second to convince my subconcious that I was just dreaming and when the fact finally clicked in my head I started to cry. I can't even begin to explain why...but it seemed like a good idea at the time. The whole thing so disturbed me that I called up a psychology doctorate friend of mine, as well as two other friends to ask them what they thought of it. They were all in accordance that it seemed my inner 'Id' was telling me that I still loved him and want him back but I know I shouldn't and I feel that the only way to stop feeling that way about him is to resort to drastic measures. Scary!
My doctor friend even suggested that maybe the reason it bugged me so much for so many days after is because he "died" without ever knowing how I really felt. So I texted him the next day and told him that "I had a disturbing dream and felt the need to say something to [him] but I would really appreciate it if he didn't say anything back to me...that I do love and miss [him]". I won't tell you what he said back but I did feel really good about my actions.
Regardless of what the dream meant, if it meant anything at all I'm glad that in the off-chance that he should die today (not as a result of anything I would do) that he knows how I feel.
It was all about closure maybe?
Or maybe I need to lay off the meds...
-----
Update: I just read this on one of the blogs I follow. I swear she is so smart about these things, and just manages to put words to all my thoughts. Here is an exerpt, but for the rest of the blog go check out her page.
"...We want to make sure we've left our mark. We don't want to be just one of many. We want to be the one that got away. The one that you still think about at night, regardless of who is lying next to you. We want to be the relationship that you compare all the others to.
And we want this (even though we know it's unrealistic because most guys don't think like that) because we need it to feel better about ourselves. And about how much you meant to us
Even if you want the best for someone, and you know in your heart the best isn't you? You still want them to remember. Even if you're happier now than you ever were with them, you want them to remember. And any time I see him, I want to look damn good. Because he'll remember.If you've been loved by me, you don't forget it"
by Tia, Clever Girl Goes Blog http://www.clevergirlgoesblog.blogspot.com
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
What's your "happy"?
I just finished emailing back and forth with a friend of mine and the last thing we discussed (kinda) was the subject of happiness. Basically, he said that he was glad I was happy and that he was "happy that [I am] happy". And you know what? I really appreciated that. I told him that the key to being happy is to find your own sunshine, as opposed to relying on others to create it for you.
After we stopped emailing (or rather after he stopped replying to me, I assume he fell asleep) I got to thinking what makes me happy on a daily basis. And the answer was quite surprising. You know how they always say that most people find pleasure in the simplest things? Well, the one thing that makes me happy everyday is to open up my computer, turn on my internet, and see the "Slideshow of Beaches" widget on my home page. That and to log onto my favorite webcomics "Cyanide and Happiness" and "XKCD" and laugh hysterically at whatever dry humored joke they come up with.
After we stopped emailing (or rather after he stopped replying to me, I assume he fell asleep) I got to thinking what makes me happy on a daily basis. And the answer was quite surprising. You know how they always say that most people find pleasure in the simplest things? Well, the one thing that makes me happy everyday is to open up my computer, turn on my internet, and see the "Slideshow of Beaches" widget on my home page. That and to log onto my favorite webcomics "Cyanide and Happiness" and "XKCD" and laugh hysterically at whatever dry humored joke they come up with.
That's it. Simple but reliable...No matter how crappy I may be feeling at whatever lemon life has decided to chuck at me on any given day, I can always manage a smile by seeing those two things.
So I guess the purpose of this blog is to encourage everyone to think about what makes them happy. The simple pleasures in life if you will, and really learn to appreciate them for what they are.
~The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. --James Openheim~
Monday, August 4, 2008
Age does not Wisdom make...
It bewilders me time and again how I can be so good at picking guys and then so bad at it at the same time. I have met so many cool guys in the last few months but despite the connections I keep finding, my heart is still stuck on the one guy who has offered me no promises. And why? What for? Sticking around like a dumbass on the off chance that maybe someday in the future he will grow up, open his eyes and see what's right in front of him? Fat chance.
Some people just never "get it". Lust comes first. Love follows easily. And trust above all is the hardest thing to earn.
Some people just never "get it". Lust comes first. Love follows easily. And trust above all is the hardest thing to earn.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Submitted for your contemplation...
1. What does it mean if you ask a guy "if I told you tomorrow that I had a new boyfriend and I had to stop seeing you...would you be upset?" and his answer was "why would you have to stop seeing me?"
2. Should you risk what could be a great relationship with guy X, because you're in love with guy Y even if you're not sure if he will ever feel the same about you? Would you risk everything for the sake of love?
3. What is love anyway? And what defines a great relationship nowadays? Is faithfullness even a trait you should look for anymore?
4. Why do girls always want the bad boys?
5. It's easy to forgive, but how do you forget? Is it possible to trust someone again if they have hurt you so much in the past? What if you don't know if they deserve or even desire your trust again...should you work hard to give it anyway?
6. How can you tell if someone is just using you because they know you're in love with them? How can you tell that someone isn't using you but really does care for you and love you, just not in the way you want them to?
7. If someone loves you but not the way you need them to, how do you deal with it and move on? Can you really move on knowing you're leaving a big piece of your heart behind...or will all future relationships just not be as satisfying?
2. Should you risk what could be a great relationship with guy X, because you're in love with guy Y even if you're not sure if he will ever feel the same about you? Would you risk everything for the sake of love?
3. What is love anyway? And what defines a great relationship nowadays? Is faithfullness even a trait you should look for anymore?
4. Why do girls always want the bad boys?
5. It's easy to forgive, but how do you forget? Is it possible to trust someone again if they have hurt you so much in the past? What if you don't know if they deserve or even desire your trust again...should you work hard to give it anyway?
6. How can you tell if someone is just using you because they know you're in love with them? How can you tell that someone isn't using you but really does care for you and love you, just not in the way you want them to?
7. If someone loves you but not the way you need them to, how do you deal with it and move on? Can you really move on knowing you're leaving a big piece of your heart behind...or will all future relationships just not be as satisfying?
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Oh no She DIDNT!!!
I know this is gonna sound kinda petty...especially when I should be very happy for her. But sometimes girls just have to be girls and today is my day.
A few months ago my friend Gigi emails me because she was looking thru wedding dresses and she found one that she liked. But she thought it looked familiar so she emailed it to me and asked if it was the dress I picked out in high school and I said yes it is. Good friend that she is, she didn't want to wear it even though she liked it because I had it picked out first. See, the thing with most girls is; we, since we knew what weddings were and saw our first princess movie, have always had a perfect picture of the perfect wedding in our heads. Complete with "prince charming" and the cake and the party, the ring, and THE perfect wedding dress. I told her she can wear it if she wants because I changed my mind and now had a different dress in mind. That whole conversation sparked a blog (on a website that I have since deleted) where I posted the pic of my new dress and a friend of mine...we will call her "H"...saw it and said "oh how cute...you would look really good in that dress".
Fast forward 6 months and "H" tells me she and her boyfriend have gotten engaged, she would like me to be a bridesmaid for their wedding next June, and what do I think about the dress that she had picked out.
...
The dress she had picked out was MY dress, so of course I liked it....ON ME! I know the guys out there are thinking "so what, why can't you wear the dress anyway?" BECAUSE!!! Its not the dress! Ok, I lie, it is partly the dress...and partly the fact that she knew it was the dress I picked out and is gonna wear it anyway. I can't very well say "no, don't wear the dress to your wedding because I might wear the dress when and if I ever get married". It sounds petty and small I know, but as off this time last year I thought my perfect wedding was in the horizon. I had the perfect guy who even had a uniform like "prince charming", I had the engagement ring picked out and sized. Now, no guy, no ring, and apparently now I can't even wear my dress.
*sigh*
I just hit SEND to my reply to her "of course Ill be your bridesmaid, Im so happy for you and you will look gorgeous in the dress"...
Im going to bed...
A few months ago my friend Gigi emails me because she was looking thru wedding dresses and she found one that she liked. But she thought it looked familiar so she emailed it to me and asked if it was the dress I picked out in high school and I said yes it is. Good friend that she is, she didn't want to wear it even though she liked it because I had it picked out first. See, the thing with most girls is; we, since we knew what weddings were and saw our first princess movie, have always had a perfect picture of the perfect wedding in our heads. Complete with "prince charming" and the cake and the party, the ring, and THE perfect wedding dress. I told her she can wear it if she wants because I changed my mind and now had a different dress in mind. That whole conversation sparked a blog (on a website that I have since deleted) where I posted the pic of my new dress and a friend of mine...we will call her "H"...saw it and said "oh how cute...you would look really good in that dress".
Fast forward 6 months and "H" tells me she and her boyfriend have gotten engaged, she would like me to be a bridesmaid for their wedding next June, and what do I think about the dress that she had picked out.
...
The dress she had picked out was MY dress, so of course I liked it....ON ME! I know the guys out there are thinking "so what, why can't you wear the dress anyway?" BECAUSE!!! Its not the dress! Ok, I lie, it is partly the dress...and partly the fact that she knew it was the dress I picked out and is gonna wear it anyway. I can't very well say "no, don't wear the dress to your wedding because I might wear the dress when and if I ever get married". It sounds petty and small I know, but as off this time last year I thought my perfect wedding was in the horizon. I had the perfect guy who even had a uniform like "prince charming", I had the engagement ring picked out and sized. Now, no guy, no ring, and apparently now I can't even wear my dress.
*sigh*
I just hit SEND to my reply to her "of course Ill be your bridesmaid, Im so happy for you and you will look gorgeous in the dress"...
Im going to bed...
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
In my head...
There's a very thin line between love and hate. I find myself straddling that line many times...one foot on either side...not knowing where to turn or who to talk to. Confused and frustrated. Forgive and forget but it is so much easier to do one than the other. There are times when even my own head and my ability to logic things out on my own can't help me and all those times lead to insomnia with no one but my own thoughts for company. I am glad to say that more often than not, my own will to be happy drags me out of the muck and within a few days Im back to my bubbly old self. This time...well, let's just say Im still waiting.
Since apparently a few of my friends can understand french Im not gonna bother ranting en francais here...but...*sigh*
~When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive~ --Alan Paton
Since apparently a few of my friends can understand french Im not gonna bother ranting en francais here...but...*sigh*
~When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive~ --Alan Paton
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Quick Update and Haphazard Thoughts...
-I ran today, well more like I speed walked...just a couple miles, but since the last time I ran (oh, about 6 days ago) I've been ultra cautious. I barely even broke 3 miles that day and I woke up with a swollen knee again the next morning. Baby steps E...Baby steps. So far so good...
-Saw Wanted with Jay. He was in town for work and personal stuff. If any of you liked The Matrix or The Bourne Trilogies, then I strongly suggest going to see this movie. It's the wicked story line of Bourne coupled with Matrix worthy special effects...especially one scene about 15 minutes into the movie involving a red sports car and an interesting way to enter it *shivers* whew!!! Im still geeking-out about it! :P Got a little tanning in, a little exercise, sun and fun with friends...all in all a good way to spend the day.
-May not be able to go to Vancouver for a friend's bachelorette this month. Despite my usual tenacity in preplanning stuff and being organized, I neglected to check on my passport till a couple nights ago. Aparently it expired on my birthday. More bad luck = not being a US citizen so I have to send my stuff to San Francisco and the Philippine Embassy there along with a hefty $200 fee and a 2-4 week wait time. I checked to see if I could use just my permanent resident card and although that is proof enough to get back INTO the US from Canada, the Canadian Embassy "strongly suggests" I have a valid passport as well in order to enter it. I would just cross my fingers and head off to our northern neighbors with a green card and prayers but I'm too much of a wussy to risk being stuck at the border. I guess it's all a waiting game now.
-More fun coming this 4th of July weekend. Being out on the water...hopefully getting a little bit more of a tan to counteract my pasty-ness (for a filipina chick I've always been unusually pale). Last year we spent the independence day in the Philippines on vacation so needless to say there wasn't very much celebrating going on. Ok...there was NO celebrating going on. As far as people over there were concerned it was just another Tuesday. The American cousins and I were wishing each other a Happy 4th while our Filipino cousins were left to ponder whether they missed someone's birthday or anniversary. Fun stuff ;) Though to be honest with you if I had a choice Id rather spend my 4th back on Boracay beach, snorkeling with the fishes.
~Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time~ -- John Lubbock
-Saw Wanted with Jay. He was in town for work and personal stuff. If any of you liked The Matrix or The Bourne Trilogies, then I strongly suggest going to see this movie. It's the wicked story line of Bourne coupled with Matrix worthy special effects...especially one scene about 15 minutes into the movie involving a red sports car and an interesting way to enter it *shivers* whew!!! Im still geeking-out about it! :P Got a little tanning in, a little exercise, sun and fun with friends...all in all a good way to spend the day.
-May not be able to go to Vancouver for a friend's bachelorette this month. Despite my usual tenacity in preplanning stuff and being organized, I neglected to check on my passport till a couple nights ago. Aparently it expired on my birthday. More bad luck = not being a US citizen so I have to send my stuff to San Francisco and the Philippine Embassy there along with a hefty $200 fee and a 2-4 week wait time. I checked to see if I could use just my permanent resident card and although that is proof enough to get back INTO the US from Canada, the Canadian Embassy "strongly suggests" I have a valid passport as well in order to enter it. I would just cross my fingers and head off to our northern neighbors with a green card and prayers but I'm too much of a wussy to risk being stuck at the border. I guess it's all a waiting game now.
-More fun coming this 4th of July weekend. Being out on the water...hopefully getting a little bit more of a tan to counteract my pasty-ness (for a filipina chick I've always been unusually pale). Last year we spent the independence day in the Philippines on vacation so needless to say there wasn't very much celebrating going on. Ok...there was NO celebrating going on. As far as people over there were concerned it was just another Tuesday. The American cousins and I were wishing each other a Happy 4th while our Filipino cousins were left to ponder whether they missed someone's birthday or anniversary. Fun stuff ;) Though to be honest with you if I had a choice Id rather spend my 4th back on Boracay beach, snorkeling with the fishes.
~Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time~ -- John Lubbock
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Something to be said about being busy...
So the last...oh, 3 or 4 months or so, I have been busy up to my gills. I mean really busy. Work, work, work, more work, and it's gotten to the point where if I want to hang out with my friends or deviate the slightest bit from my routine, I literally need at least 2 weeks advance notice. Either to get that day off, switch shifts, or make sure I get enough sleep so I dont pass out while Im hanging out with friends. Im always always tired. I need to keep track of everything on my calendar on my computer, and the calendar on my phone....AND I FREAKIN LOVE IT!!!!!
It started out as making sure Im too busy to think about bad issues happening in my life at the moment and it evolved into something a lot cooler than that. Though its true I need to preplan everything in order to see my friends and whatnot but I find that the planning makes me appreciate the time I have with them that much more. And Im learning to better manage my money so I can afford all these events and the fact that Im tired and busy all the time keeps me from getting into trouble. And the great thing is the next few months (especially July and August) are looking to be my busiest time of all.
Another cool side effect of my hectic schedule is Im meeting new people without even meaning to. I met this guy at work today named Brian (his last name is unpronouncable so I wont even try) who just moved here from Oregon, there are two guys that I talk to often named Joe and Jordan who are turning out to be cool cool people...yes, I met them online so call me a hypocrite if you like. And just today I met a guy on facebook!
Its like that quote by Helen Keller:
~When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the window that was opened to us~
Well, I guess keeping myself occupied like I have been allowed me to see the window. Not only that, it allowed me to realize that the door that was closed wasn't locked shut. Just closed for the meantime. Think about that for a second!
It started out as making sure Im too busy to think about bad issues happening in my life at the moment and it evolved into something a lot cooler than that. Though its true I need to preplan everything in order to see my friends and whatnot but I find that the planning makes me appreciate the time I have with them that much more. And Im learning to better manage my money so I can afford all these events and the fact that Im tired and busy all the time keeps me from getting into trouble. And the great thing is the next few months (especially July and August) are looking to be my busiest time of all.
Another cool side effect of my hectic schedule is Im meeting new people without even meaning to. I met this guy at work today named Brian (his last name is unpronouncable so I wont even try) who just moved here from Oregon, there are two guys that I talk to often named Joe and Jordan who are turning out to be cool cool people...yes, I met them online so call me a hypocrite if you like. And just today I met a guy on facebook!
Its like that quote by Helen Keller:
~When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the window that was opened to us~
Well, I guess keeping myself occupied like I have been allowed me to see the window. Not only that, it allowed me to realize that the door that was closed wasn't locked shut. Just closed for the meantime. Think about that for a second!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
My weekend..
Fun filled all around... I wont bore you all with the deets but let's just say I had more fun this weekend than I have the last 6 months. In fact probably longer than that.
People should really experience just letting go and having a good time with another person without any pretenses. Without wondering what the next step will be, without having to pretend to be someone else and just being yourself. Being in the moment and letting all that may happen happen. Its a great feeling.
I think I may have found my friend again but at the same time Im not going to rush into any assumptions. This is how I got hooked the first time. I keep having to tell myself to stop whenever my thoughts start wandering off into the "darkness". But its all gravy, Ill just have to be patient. Patience is a virtue.
Bless the Broken Road -- Rascall Flatts
I set out on a narrow way many years ago, hoping I would find true love along the broken road.
But I got lost a time or two.
Wiped my brow and kept pushing thru.
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are.
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars,
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.
This much I know is true...
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.
I think about the years I spent just passing through.
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you.
But you just smile and take my hand,
You've been there you understand.
Its all part of a grander plan that is coming true.
Now Im just rolling home,
Into my lover's arms...
This much I know is true...
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.
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