If you guys don't understand the utter hilarity of some of this stuff, feel free to ask me or one of your filipino friends... Don't lie...everyone has at least one filipino friend...we are EVERYWHERE! Look behind you, there's one right now! ;)
Or not. It doesn't matter. I guffawed heartily while reading his descriptions and am continuing to guffaw heartily as I post them here. And...out of the 20 items, I or my parents have about 15 of them at any one time! ;)
For your consideration, I've included translations where needed. You're welcome.
1) THE LAST SUPPER: Because you're not truly fed unless you're at the Lord's table.
2) WoW--MAGICMIC: Singing across the Philippines!
3) WOODEN SPOON AND FORK: It tells your dining room, "Hey! This is where the food goes!"
4) SKYFLAKES: The bottomless tin!5) BACK SCRATCHER: Reach for the remote, "close" the light, or palo (spank) your kids! It's all good!
6) EXTRA LARGE DRYING RACK: I think it does some other stuff too.
7) PALM FRONDS: To remind you of arts and crafts day at church.
8) JESUS WALL HANGING [Level 1]: Entry level wall adornment. Wood frame, a nice glossy 8x10 of the redeemer himself!
9) JESUS WALL HANGING [Level 2]: Cross-stich Jesus! Hand made and oh so fabulous.
10) JESUS WALL HANGING [Level 3]: Pro status wall hanging! Is it Jesus? Is it Mary? Is it Jesus?...wait, It's BOTH! Twice the salvation for the price of one!
11) FISH TANK: What's a Filipino father to do in a maternal society? Have a fish tank of course! Until they learn about Facebook, the Filipino old timers need something to compulsively check.
12) WEEKLY CHURCH BULLETIN: Don't ever let anyone see you throw one away! It's your weekly receipt! Besides, without it, how else would you know what time to go to mass every Sunday?
13) WALIS (straw broom): Walis-walis kicks Swiffer's disposable arse times infinity! If I can rub my hands on my cleaning utensils without getting cuts and splinters, it's not worth my time!
14) WICKER FURNITURE: Can consist of wicker panels, or go the full monty and get a complete wicker set! Either way, the patterns on my arms, legs, and face don't make themselves!
15) BALIKBAYAN (going back home) BAG O' STUFF: It's so nice of us to save our old L.A. Lights rubber shoes, Breast Cancer Awareness walk t-shirts, and accidentally bleach splattered sweatshirts for our pamilya (family) back home!
16) HUGO BOSS MEN'S FRAGRANCE: Vintage 1985! It's ok that they don't make these anymore! Our dad's don't use more than a couple sprays a year. It's Burt Reynold's cologne of choice, and we're the only asians capable of growing his mustache...coincidence? I think not!
17) CORNED BEEF--AMERICAN STYLE: Ever heard this? "You don't appreciate corned beef because you haven't tasted corned beef in the Philippines! Here, it is so good that you don't even need mayo!"
18) JOHNSON'S BABY COLOGNE: Before CK1, before Nautica Competition, there was Johnson's baby cologne. For the person who's ever wondered what rubbing alcohol would smell like if it also tasted like sweet, sweet, candy.
19) WHITE FLOWER LINIMENT: Rub it on anything that ails ya! Unless what ails ya happens to be near any and all...uhm...orifices?
And last but definitely not least!
20) A FILIPINO: Filipinos kick it hardcore without forgetting about the family back home, their religion, or where they came from. Not to mention they can fix your car, build you a shed, take care of your nanay (mother), and cook you something sooo good you won't care where and what part of what animal it came from!
GET YOURS TODAY!!!