~Unfamiliarity is the initial step in the long process of creating a relationship. It is somebody you never knew that at long last through the process of knowing each other that becomes a friend~
Did anyone else notice the gorgeous sunshine today? I know I did! Im glad summer has finally FINALLY decided to grace us with it's prescence...I was starting to grow mold! The only thing that annoyed me all day were the random people I saw at work complaining at how hot it was. *sigh* Ten to one in another few months those same people will be complaining at how gray and rainy Seattle is. Oh well, forget them!
I met up with a new friend today for coffee at my not so local Starbucks. Never did I think I'd see the day when I become one of those people who schedule coffee dates LOL. Anyway, this person found me on Facebook a couple weeks ago (I still have yet to ask him how) and we got to e-mailing a few times. He wanted to meet up for drinks but since I didnt know this person from Adam I told him that Ill just meet him for coffee. It's a good out right? It's not dinner, not a date...and if it turns out that the person is a weird psycho stalker guy from one of those horror stories you read about meeting people online, you just have to smile and nod for an hour and chug your coffee (in the daytime) and that's that. Plus I did it on my lunch break from work so I really did only have an hour to spare. Guilt free and not lying :) And "S" if you're reading this...now ya know! :)
Turned out he was a pretty cool guy. Fairly normal, just enough quirks to be interesting. AND he feels the same way I do about camping!!! Brownie Points! So congratulations E for stepping out of your comfort zone. Courage for an unfamiliar situation + a lovely iced mocha on an equally lovely sunny day = interesting conversation and maybe a new friend!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Gingerly...with baby steps...
I finally was able to exercise today. No, I didn't run...even I'm not stupid enough to run on a bad and still healing knee, but I did WALK at a tame 3mph for an hour and got some yoga in which helped stretch out the knee. Good stuff both for my body and for my mood. LOL...poor coworkers, I can tell that they are all about ready to throw me out cuz Ive been so cra-zanky for so long.
The only other thing I wanted to put down here is: for all of you who watched that episode of Bizarre foods in the Philippines...
NO, not EVERYONE eats that stuff...I personally have never eaten bugs or frogs or tree worms. Nor do I eat Balut for that matter.
Just wanted to let you know.
The only other thing I wanted to put down here is: for all of you who watched that episode of Bizarre foods in the Philippines...
NO, not EVERYONE eats that stuff...I personally have never eaten bugs or frogs or tree worms. Nor do I eat Balut for that matter.
Just wanted to let you know.
Monday, June 23, 2008
It's just one of those days...
*sigh*
I'm not a graceful person...far from it in fact. I generally consider myself adorably accident prone. It is in that mood that I tell you this next story...
About a week and a half ago, I was doing my normal running on the treadmill routine when in the quest of multitasking (involving a laptop, couch pillows, a dining room chair and a faulty mp3 player), I very ungracefully fell off the treadmill. No, it wasn't an America's Home Videos worthy shoot off the end of the treadmill at 6 miles per hour thing. Rather my left leg collapsed under me, I fell on my hip, then slowly travelled to the edge of the belt at 3.5mph where I fell off with a soft thud. So my knee felt kinda wonky for days after but oh well...I was feeling bloated and fat and eating like a pig because I was PMS-y and I was not about to let one teeny incident stop me from running. No big deal right?
So Wrong!
This morning I woke up and my knee was swollen and I couldn't put much weight on it nor could I straighten it out. I had overextended it. And I had a full 10 hour work day ahead of me. Great! :( Thankfully my coworkers were sympathetic and after letting them ooh and ahh and gag over the sight of my pink swollen knee, they let me just sit down on a chair for most of the day.
Finally the day was over and I was looking forward to going home, take a long hot shower, eat a couple Krispy Kreme donuts and ample prescription strength pain killers, fulfill my daily blood and gore and other bodily fluids needs with an episode of Dexter and an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8, maybe talk on the phone and pass out.
Wrong again!
My car wouldn't start, so I called my mom to come give me a jump...after she got there and lectured me on not letting my battery die...and as we both turned to leave...her car wouldn't start. So I shut off my engine and we called my dad over with the van to come rescue us. Once he got there, neither of the cars would start. So my mom and I waited inside our respective cars while he fiddled around with jumper cables and flashlights and lots of colorful filipino swear words. After taking turns revving our engines and attaching and detaching cables and more filipino swear words, I felt myself tear up at all the frustrations and ridiculousness of my day and I said "holy crap, please Lord...I just wanna go home!"
I kid you not, the beautiful sounds of engines starting filled the air as both the cars came to life! Divine intervention?? or God's pity on a poor little girl?? You decide.
Now I sit and type on fluffy...regaling you with the events of my day...As the sound of hot steamy water beckons me and the whirring of my Dexter DVD buzzes at me from my TV I leave you with this thought...Pain killers here I come!
I'm not a graceful person...far from it in fact. I generally consider myself adorably accident prone. It is in that mood that I tell you this next story...
About a week and a half ago, I was doing my normal running on the treadmill routine when in the quest of multitasking (involving a laptop, couch pillows, a dining room chair and a faulty mp3 player), I very ungracefully fell off the treadmill. No, it wasn't an America's Home Videos worthy shoot off the end of the treadmill at 6 miles per hour thing. Rather my left leg collapsed under me, I fell on my hip, then slowly travelled to the edge of the belt at 3.5mph where I fell off with a soft thud. So my knee felt kinda wonky for days after but oh well...I was feeling bloated and fat and eating like a pig because I was PMS-y and I was not about to let one teeny incident stop me from running. No big deal right?
So Wrong!
This morning I woke up and my knee was swollen and I couldn't put much weight on it nor could I straighten it out. I had overextended it. And I had a full 10 hour work day ahead of me. Great! :( Thankfully my coworkers were sympathetic and after letting them ooh and ahh and gag over the sight of my pink swollen knee, they let me just sit down on a chair for most of the day.
Finally the day was over and I was looking forward to going home, take a long hot shower, eat a couple Krispy Kreme donuts and ample prescription strength pain killers, fulfill my daily blood and gore and other bodily fluids needs with an episode of Dexter and an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8, maybe talk on the phone and pass out.
Wrong again!
My car wouldn't start, so I called my mom to come give me a jump...after she got there and lectured me on not letting my battery die...and as we both turned to leave...her car wouldn't start. So I shut off my engine and we called my dad over with the van to come rescue us. Once he got there, neither of the cars would start. So my mom and I waited inside our respective cars while he fiddled around with jumper cables and flashlights and lots of colorful filipino swear words. After taking turns revving our engines and attaching and detaching cables and more filipino swear words, I felt myself tear up at all the frustrations and ridiculousness of my day and I said "holy crap, please Lord...I just wanna go home!"
I kid you not, the beautiful sounds of engines starting filled the air as both the cars came to life! Divine intervention?? or God's pity on a poor little girl?? You decide.
Now I sit and type on fluffy...regaling you with the events of my day...As the sound of hot steamy water beckons me and the whirring of my Dexter DVD buzzes at me from my TV I leave you with this thought...Pain killers here I come!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Sympathy
Because I'm not very good at being sympathetic when Im cranky and tired. I'm sorry Katie.
I Can't Make You Love Me -- Bonnie Raitt
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed.
Turn down these voices inside my head.
Lay down with me, tell me no lies.
Just hold me close, don't patronize...don't patronize me.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
You can't make your heart feel something it won't.
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours,
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power.
But you won't.
No, you won't.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see,
The love you don't feel when you're holding me.
Morning will come and I'll do what's right.
Just give me till then to give up this fight.
And I will give up this fight.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
After a VERY long day...
It has been a very very VERY long day at work. Inventory. Oh dread! But actually this day has not gone by in vain. Even before inventory started, a friend of mine called me out of the blue all excited to talk about her upcoming wedding. Now, keep in mind that it's that time of month for me so aside from feeling uncomfortable and cranky and annoyed at the long work day ahead of me, I really didnt feel like talking about love and weddings and such. Not to mention I have two other friends who are also getting married in a few months. Turns out talking to her did me good because her excitement leaked over the phone lines to me and it actually made me feel better to share in her engagement bliss.
Then during inventory, in a store full of guys and me being the only girl, the talk turned to relationship matters too. But keep in mind its a store full of GUYS after all so it wasn't "relationship" talk more so that it was "sex/pervy" thoughts said aloud. I chalk it up to the late hour. But anyway, it was actually cool to hear guy's perspectives about stuff like that especially when its from 5 different guys, 5 different age groups, and 3 different relationship status'. Im not going into detail about all the things that were said, since Im trying to keep this blog pg-13 but let's just say it was enlightening.
So as I rest and stretch out at 2am...finishing this non-blog that I felt obligated to write, Im gonna leave you with this dialogue from "Bones" that I felt fit this day perfectly:
~~
Booth: Here we are, all of us basically lone seperate creatures, circling each other. All searching for the slightest bit of a real connection. Some don't look in the right places. Some just give up hope because they're thinking "there's no one out there for me". But we all keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while two people meet and there's a spark. And yes...he is handsome...and she is beautiful, and maybe that's all they see at first. But making love? Making LOVE...that's when two people become one.
Bones: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Bones: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
Booth: Yeah. It's a miracle.
~~
Hehe...I have the perfect quote or lyric or dialogue for anything!
Goodnight all!
Then during inventory, in a store full of guys and me being the only girl, the talk turned to relationship matters too. But keep in mind its a store full of GUYS after all so it wasn't "relationship" talk more so that it was "sex/pervy" thoughts said aloud. I chalk it up to the late hour. But anyway, it was actually cool to hear guy's perspectives about stuff like that especially when its from 5 different guys, 5 different age groups, and 3 different relationship status'. Im not going into detail about all the things that were said, since Im trying to keep this blog pg-13 but let's just say it was enlightening.
So as I rest and stretch out at 2am...finishing this non-blog that I felt obligated to write, Im gonna leave you with this dialogue from "Bones" that I felt fit this day perfectly:
~~
Booth: Here we are, all of us basically lone seperate creatures, circling each other. All searching for the slightest bit of a real connection. Some don't look in the right places. Some just give up hope because they're thinking "there's no one out there for me". But we all keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while two people meet and there's a spark. And yes...he is handsome...and she is beautiful, and maybe that's all they see at first. But making love? Making LOVE...that's when two people become one.
Bones: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Bones: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
Booth: Yeah. It's a miracle.
~~
Hehe...I have the perfect quote or lyric or dialogue for anything!
Goodnight all!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Something to be said about being busy...
So the last...oh, 3 or 4 months or so, I have been busy up to my gills. I mean really busy. Work, work, work, more work, and it's gotten to the point where if I want to hang out with my friends or deviate the slightest bit from my routine, I literally need at least 2 weeks advance notice. Either to get that day off, switch shifts, or make sure I get enough sleep so I dont pass out while Im hanging out with friends. Im always always tired. I need to keep track of everything on my calendar on my computer, and the calendar on my phone....AND I FREAKIN LOVE IT!!!!!
It started out as making sure Im too busy to think about bad issues happening in my life at the moment and it evolved into something a lot cooler than that. Though its true I need to preplan everything in order to see my friends and whatnot but I find that the planning makes me appreciate the time I have with them that much more. And Im learning to better manage my money so I can afford all these events and the fact that Im tired and busy all the time keeps me from getting into trouble. And the great thing is the next few months (especially July and August) are looking to be my busiest time of all.
Another cool side effect of my hectic schedule is Im meeting new people without even meaning to. I met this guy at work today named Brian (his last name is unpronouncable so I wont even try) who just moved here from Oregon, there are two guys that I talk to often named Joe and Jordan who are turning out to be cool cool people...yes, I met them online so call me a hypocrite if you like. And just today I met a guy on facebook!
Its like that quote by Helen Keller:
~When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the window that was opened to us~
Well, I guess keeping myself occupied like I have been allowed me to see the window. Not only that, it allowed me to realize that the door that was closed wasn't locked shut. Just closed for the meantime. Think about that for a second!
It started out as making sure Im too busy to think about bad issues happening in my life at the moment and it evolved into something a lot cooler than that. Though its true I need to preplan everything in order to see my friends and whatnot but I find that the planning makes me appreciate the time I have with them that much more. And Im learning to better manage my money so I can afford all these events and the fact that Im tired and busy all the time keeps me from getting into trouble. And the great thing is the next few months (especially July and August) are looking to be my busiest time of all.
Another cool side effect of my hectic schedule is Im meeting new people without even meaning to. I met this guy at work today named Brian (his last name is unpronouncable so I wont even try) who just moved here from Oregon, there are two guys that I talk to often named Joe and Jordan who are turning out to be cool cool people...yes, I met them online so call me a hypocrite if you like. And just today I met a guy on facebook!
Its like that quote by Helen Keller:
~When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the window that was opened to us~
Well, I guess keeping myself occupied like I have been allowed me to see the window. Not only that, it allowed me to realize that the door that was closed wasn't locked shut. Just closed for the meantime. Think about that for a second!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I swear I'm not a lush!
"THE E"
Malibu rum
Midori melon liqueur
Apple pucker
Vodka shot
Pineapple juice
--shake
Chambord floater
"TO BE NAMED"
Midori melon liqueur
Stoli Vodka (strawberry)
Apple Pucker
Orange juice
Sprite or 7up
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Why Aspire?
~You have powers you never dreamed off. You can do things you never thought you could do. there are no limitations in what you can do except the ones in your own mind. --Darwin P. Kingsley~
My cousin Mike left me a comment on MySpace in response to a question I asked him about him selling his motorcycle. He said: ur really serious about riding.. what's the story?
I told him it was because Im sick and tired of being in the b**ch seat (passenger seat for those of you not up to the lingo)...which is true enough I suppose. But if I really think about it, these last 6 months or so, I've been on somewhat of a soul search. I just feel like my life is stuck in a standstill and not necessarily through any fault of my own. Have you ever felt sometimes that you just aren't "good enough" in any aspect of your life and that you have to change in order to impress someone? Yeah, that is me right now and since the beginning of the year. The hardest part of feeling that way however, is not that I'm trying to impress anyone else. The hardest part is that I'm trying to impress myself.
I think I'm on my way...I work out, I try to be a bastion of goodness for my church community, I have been a pretty good daughter and friend thus far, and Im pretty satisfied with my emotional and mental state. But somehow part of my soul still wants more. I need to change. And in that quest for change my efforts have been targeted towards changing the first impression I put out and my hobbies. Case in point: I curled my hair (which I am now sick off and will be straightening again as soon as I get time), Ive tried fishing and will be trying to go camping, I went to my first Mariners game, tried new foods, listened to new music, planned trips and events Ive wanted to do but never have, and etc etc etc...you get the picture.
I guess what it all comes down to is this: at some point or another, we all aspire to be something we are not. It's not a bad thing...in fact in some cases it could be good to try new things and see if you end up doing something you really like. To step out of your comfort zone and grow as a person. But in my case I'm guessing I'm in the middle. Between stepping out of my comfort zone and not liking who Im turning out to be. It's an interesting place to be, to really look inside yourself and realize what aspects of yourself you really really like, and to uncover insecurities you never thought you had. And apparently I have some pretty wicked insecurities...*shrug* Something to contemplate I guess.
In the meantime, I have been looking into getting a work/travel visa and going somewhere for a year. Ive found opportunities to work in Australia, Korea, and parts of Europe. Wish me luck.
My cousin Mike left me a comment on MySpace in response to a question I asked him about him selling his motorcycle. He said: ur really serious about riding.. what's the story?
I told him it was because Im sick and tired of being in the b**ch seat (passenger seat for those of you not up to the lingo)...which is true enough I suppose. But if I really think about it, these last 6 months or so, I've been on somewhat of a soul search. I just feel like my life is stuck in a standstill and not necessarily through any fault of my own. Have you ever felt sometimes that you just aren't "good enough" in any aspect of your life and that you have to change in order to impress someone? Yeah, that is me right now and since the beginning of the year. The hardest part of feeling that way however, is not that I'm trying to impress anyone else. The hardest part is that I'm trying to impress myself.
I think I'm on my way...I work out, I try to be a bastion of goodness for my church community, I have been a pretty good daughter and friend thus far, and Im pretty satisfied with my emotional and mental state. But somehow part of my soul still wants more. I need to change. And in that quest for change my efforts have been targeted towards changing the first impression I put out and my hobbies. Case in point: I curled my hair (which I am now sick off and will be straightening again as soon as I get time), Ive tried fishing and will be trying to go camping, I went to my first Mariners game, tried new foods, listened to new music, planned trips and events Ive wanted to do but never have, and etc etc etc...you get the picture.
I guess what it all comes down to is this: at some point or another, we all aspire to be something we are not. It's not a bad thing...in fact in some cases it could be good to try new things and see if you end up doing something you really like. To step out of your comfort zone and grow as a person. But in my case I'm guessing I'm in the middle. Between stepping out of my comfort zone and not liking who Im turning out to be. It's an interesting place to be, to really look inside yourself and realize what aspects of yourself you really really like, and to uncover insecurities you never thought you had. And apparently I have some pretty wicked insecurities...*shrug* Something to contemplate I guess.
In the meantime, I have been looking into getting a work/travel visa and going somewhere for a year. Ive found opportunities to work in Australia, Korea, and parts of Europe. Wish me luck.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Kids these days...
Today's happy comes from one B*ll*v*e High School graduate who shall remain nameless. Partly because I don't want to embarass them any more than necessary and partly because I don't know who they are...let me explain.
On the way to work this morning I happened to be driving behind a black brand spankin new BMW with a lovely little bumper sticker on the bottom that said "B*ll*v*e High Graduating Seniors 08". Then as my eye wandered to the back windshield I noticed these words written in glass marker..."SEINOR POWER!!!"
...
Yes...that's right. SEINOR. *shaking my head* Even sadder than the fact that this high school graduate with the brand new beemer (obviously a graduation gift) cannot spell SENIOR is the fact that they probably don't realize that they misspelled the word and no one has thought to correct them. Now, the reason I didn't include the whole name of the high school (though most of you reading this probably knows which high school it is) is because I'm sure this isn't an isolated incident. I'm sure there are tons of kids out there loose in this world who make or are going to make the same embarassing mistake.
So at work today the football coach of the said high school just happened to come in. I recognized him because he is a former Seahawk and I told him what happened. He laughs and said "that doesn't surprise me...last week someone went around the whole parking lot with shaving cream and wrote 'Senior 07' on all the cars. Kinda makes you wonder at the fate of the planet in another 10 years doesn't it?"
His words, not mine. But it does make you wonder doesn't it? Oh well...I'm kinda hoping that in another 30 years I'll either be too old and senile to care that the world is going to heck or I'll be dead and rotted. I'll take either one.
On the way to work this morning I happened to be driving behind a black brand spankin new BMW with a lovely little bumper sticker on the bottom that said "B*ll*v*e High Graduating Seniors 08". Then as my eye wandered to the back windshield I noticed these words written in glass marker..."SEINOR POWER!!!"
...
Yes...that's right. SEINOR. *shaking my head* Even sadder than the fact that this high school graduate with the brand new beemer (obviously a graduation gift) cannot spell SENIOR is the fact that they probably don't realize that they misspelled the word and no one has thought to correct them. Now, the reason I didn't include the whole name of the high school (though most of you reading this probably knows which high school it is) is because I'm sure this isn't an isolated incident. I'm sure there are tons of kids out there loose in this world who make or are going to make the same embarassing mistake.
So at work today the football coach of the said high school just happened to come in. I recognized him because he is a former Seahawk and I told him what happened. He laughs and said "that doesn't surprise me...last week someone went around the whole parking lot with shaving cream and wrote 'Senior 07' on all the cars. Kinda makes you wonder at the fate of the planet in another 10 years doesn't it?"
His words, not mine. But it does make you wonder doesn't it? Oh well...I'm kinda hoping that in another 30 years I'll either be too old and senile to care that the world is going to heck or I'll be dead and rotted. I'll take either one.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Christianity...
I found this on line...I wonder if it's considered sacriligious! LOL. And me being the good catholic girl and all. Oh well, Im sure God will forgive me for my sense of humor since he's the one who gave it to me in the first place!
~Christianity: the belief that some cosmic jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by an evil snake to eat from a magical tree....makes perfect sense!
~Christianity: the belief that some cosmic jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by an evil snake to eat from a magical tree....makes perfect sense!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
About Life...and living for today.
~Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave, in a well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...What a Ride!
~This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good.
~There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared is doubled. Today is a gift...that is why it is called "the present".
~This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good.
~There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared is doubled. Today is a gift...that is why it is called "the present".
My weekend..
Fun filled all around... I wont bore you all with the deets but let's just say I had more fun this weekend than I have the last 6 months. In fact probably longer than that.
People should really experience just letting go and having a good time with another person without any pretenses. Without wondering what the next step will be, without having to pretend to be someone else and just being yourself. Being in the moment and letting all that may happen happen. Its a great feeling.
I think I may have found my friend again but at the same time Im not going to rush into any assumptions. This is how I got hooked the first time. I keep having to tell myself to stop whenever my thoughts start wandering off into the "darkness". But its all gravy, Ill just have to be patient. Patience is a virtue.
Bless the Broken Road -- Rascall Flatts
I set out on a narrow way many years ago, hoping I would find true love along the broken road.
But I got lost a time or two.
Wiped my brow and kept pushing thru.
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are.
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars,
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.
This much I know is true...
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.
I think about the years I spent just passing through.
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you.
But you just smile and take my hand,
You've been there you understand.
Its all part of a grander plan that is coming true.
Now Im just rolling home,
Into my lover's arms...
This much I know is true...
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Hands -- Jewel
If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be...we're all ok.
And not to worry cuz worry is wastefull and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
Or be idled with despair.
Ill wrap myself around my faith, cuz light is what darkness most fears.
My hands are small I know but they're not yours, they are my own.
Not yours, they are my own.
And Im never broken.
Poverty stole your golden shoes, but it didnt steal your laughter.
And heartache came to visit me but I knew it wasnt ever after.
We will fight but not out of spite.
Someone must stand up for whats right.
Cause where there is a man who has no voice, there I shall go singing.
In the end only kindness matters.
I will get down on my knees and I will pray.
I will get down on my knees and I will pray.
My hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own.
Not yours, they are my own and I am never broken.
We are never broken.
We are God's eyes, God's hands, God's mind.
We are God's eyes, God's hands, God's heart.
And not to worry cuz worry is wastefull and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
Or be idled with despair.
Ill wrap myself around my faith, cuz light is what darkness most fears.
My hands are small I know but they're not yours, they are my own.
Not yours, they are my own.
And Im never broken.
Poverty stole your golden shoes, but it didnt steal your laughter.
And heartache came to visit me but I knew it wasnt ever after.
We will fight but not out of spite.
Someone must stand up for whats right.
Cause where there is a man who has no voice, there I shall go singing.
In the end only kindness matters.
I will get down on my knees and I will pray.
I will get down on my knees and I will pray.
My hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own.
Not yours, they are my own and I am never broken.
We are never broken.
We are God's eyes, God's hands, God's mind.
We are God's eyes, God's hands, God's heart.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
New Stuff...
New songs that Im currently into:
-It's you (I think) by "Substantial"
-My favorite things by "Substantial"
Ive had the best 2 months so far this year. I feel as if Ive found myself again and Im really really super happy with myself. Ok edit that: Im pretty happy with my inner self and mental and emotional state. The external stuff and environment stuff still needs a little help but Im working on it.
As far as relationships go, so far Its like November all over again but I think its better. I found my friend again after some very messed up issues between us and I think our friendly relationship has the capacity to be better now than before. There is the fact that all the issues are on the table and there is no hiding anything anymore. I know all the bad and though it has led me to be slightly jaded and less trusting of people in general, I think it is making our friendship stronger for the fact that I still like him (as a friend) thru all that. After all the definition of friendship is "when someone knows all about you and has the tenacity to like you anyway". I am not under the delusion that we will be "together" again or that we are "together" now but I am prepared for any and all consequences of my actions thereof. Fate, Faith, and Karma have been taking care of me thus far when it comes to my "relationships" and Im willing to let it hold me for as long as possible. Whatever happens will be what needs to happen. And sometimes contentment and happiness is really just letting life continue without worrying about all the specifics.
-It's you (I think) by "Substantial"
-My favorite things by "Substantial"
Ive had the best 2 months so far this year. I feel as if Ive found myself again and Im really really super happy with myself. Ok edit that: Im pretty happy with my inner self and mental and emotional state. The external stuff and environment stuff still needs a little help but Im working on it.
As far as relationships go, so far Its like November all over again but I think its better. I found my friend again after some very messed up issues between us and I think our friendly relationship has the capacity to be better now than before. There is the fact that all the issues are on the table and there is no hiding anything anymore. I know all the bad and though it has led me to be slightly jaded and less trusting of people in general, I think it is making our friendship stronger for the fact that I still like him (as a friend) thru all that. After all the definition of friendship is "when someone knows all about you and has the tenacity to like you anyway". I am not under the delusion that we will be "together" again or that we are "together" now but I am prepared for any and all consequences of my actions thereof. Fate, Faith, and Karma have been taking care of me thus far when it comes to my "relationships" and Im willing to let it hold me for as long as possible. Whatever happens will be what needs to happen. And sometimes contentment and happiness is really just letting life continue without worrying about all the specifics.
Such the candidate...
Ive been recently obsessed with a few shows from TLC. Namely Jon and Kate plus 8 and What Not to Wear. Now seeing as how it would be difficult for me to join the Gosselin family (not that they'd want another 3 year old like me anyway) I figured I would make a GREAT candidate for what not to wear.
Why? Because I dress badly and Im totally ok with spending $5000 of someone else's money and giving other people complete control of how I look. Partly because I recognize that I have no style whatsoever and partly because the "after" of the before and afters that they show always always look so much better than the before. They know what they are doing.
So what made me think of this? Well, I have been shopping on and off the last few months for dresses/outfits to wear to a couple of my friend's weddings in August and I HATE IT! I cannot find a damn single dress that fits both my upper and lower halves perfectly and now that Ive lost a crapload of weight everywhere else except for my "twins" area it has gotten so much harder still. Plus I look at my closet everytime I go out on a date or go out with my friends and all my clothes look the same. It's not a good thing to be stuck in a rut at 26.
If anyone out there want to nominate me for WNtW then please I beg off you...DO IT! LOL
Why? Because I dress badly and Im totally ok with spending $5000 of someone else's money and giving other people complete control of how I look. Partly because I recognize that I have no style whatsoever and partly because the "after" of the before and afters that they show always always look so much better than the before. They know what they are doing.
So what made me think of this? Well, I have been shopping on and off the last few months for dresses/outfits to wear to a couple of my friend's weddings in August and I HATE IT! I cannot find a damn single dress that fits both my upper and lower halves perfectly and now that Ive lost a crapload of weight everywhere else except for my "twins" area it has gotten so much harder still. Plus I look at my closet everytime I go out on a date or go out with my friends and all my clothes look the same. It's not a good thing to be stuck in a rut at 26.
If anyone out there want to nominate me for WNtW then please I beg off you...DO IT! LOL
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